Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members

100,360 Posts

0 Online

llmt 08/07/2009

I finally think that it's here. I've resorted to lying in bed half he day under the covers too tired to get up. Waking up at 3 am and being up. Wondering how I will go on, where to live, how to take care of the kids on my own, having zero support. I finally think I've reached or am reaching my breaking point where I'm living on crumbs for food. I am in counselling on meds, blah blah but I'm just a mess....all I can do is cry buckets and I don't even know where to start on anything. I want someone to suck me out of the hell I'm in and transport me to somewhere anywhere. I just sob uncontrollably, shake, and am on here daily. I don't know how to get over the pain...and it's truly pain that I feel. I read the post on staying with someone out of guilt and responsiblity or out of love. That just upset me further because it's everything I'm thinking. I think of what they do together in bed and how that disgusts me...how they make fun of me, and continue to (I'm sure), how I have to hold a straight face when he's home because all I do is want to breakdown. I just can't take it anymore...not anymore and I don't know how to fix myself or any of this mess.

deleted_user 08/07/2009

I'm going to PM you. Hang on!

deleted_user 08/07/2009

Ahhh, honey, I know the feeling that they are making fun of you when they are together! I know that feeling too well!

However, can I please point out that you have to be tougher than this... you have kids, you have NO choice! They need you, you are their only stability as their father is a selish ass!

Hugs for strength!

llmt 08/07/2009

I know I'm weak that is what upsets me. I'm usually like a "wtf" type of person. I'm mad at myself for being like this but I wish to God someone could hold me and say it's going to be ok...I need an actually personal hug from someone I can cry on. I wish so much my mother or father would just hug me like we all do with our children. I just wish so many things. The hurt is sooo unbearable today, I don't want to go on.

deleted_user 08/07/2009

Sweety, you will be ok... I know I cannot actually physically hug you, as much as I really want to, but I can tell you that I really care and you will be ok! I promise it will get better! Please concentrate on staying strong and being the supportive mother that you are!

Please contact me anytime you need to... ok?

Rman 08/07/2009

Is it because you live in Delaware?
Hope you know I'm kidding. I'm close by in Maryland. Let the feelings absorb you. Feel every fucking ounce of pain and grieve. You have to go through the pain in order to heal. I am in pain as well. Don't think about what he may be doing. Just realize that it is over and that you need to feel sad in order to get better.

hurtinandhealin2560 08/07/2009

I had the same problem in the beginning--constantly thinking about them being together. About drove me nuts.

I simply developed a daily plan: I made myself get up and get dressed. I ate. I did one chore. Keep it simple. Don't think into the future, simply live in the moment you're in.

This helped me cope. Soon one chore turned into two, then I started planning outings, and then eventually got on with life.

You are allowed to hurt and grieve. It is necessary. But don't let it totally consume you.

Baby steps, kiddo. You can do this. You are stronger than you think.

Sending big healing hugs.

JGMeemaw 08/07/2009

Oh, hon! It's so trite to say "I.ve been there" as many of us have. You've been given good advice. All I can add is hug those babies and realize how much they need YOU. I honestly believe that if it wasn't for my son, his love for me, and mine for him that I would have found a way to end the pain. You have to hang in for them and help them through this.

llmt 08/07/2009

I thank everyone for their replies. I wish I felt as confident today. It seems to be getting worse instead of better. I thought initially that there was some crumb of hope but as the days go on we speak less and less to each other, and text less and less while they text more and more. I wish he would leave, I guess then maybe it would be real.

Misred 08/07/2009

I'm having a rough day too llmt. And what sucks about it was yesterday I felt good. After trying to rebuild my marriage over one year only to have it fall to shit I first felt good about getting off the roller coaster. But by some cruel turn of events I'm on it again. Not only on it but in the very back where the car rides the roughest. So is that how it's gonna be? High low high low....I can hardly wait for it to be over and what keeps me hopeful is the memory of that good day I had yesterday. Sorry to make it about me....I guess I should of stuck with I've been there. (((HUGS)))

deleted_user 08/07/2009

Did you ask him to leave? Living with him was unbearable for me, after he told me. We moved and finished up the school year before telling the kids--worst 3 weeks of my life.

Things will still feel awful when he moves out, but at least you can deal with your emotions alone.

How far away is your family? Any way you can visit them?

Join the Conversation