Sex isnt everything.. there is more to a healthy marriage then just sex.. not saying it's not important! If this has been going on for years.. I'd assume you've talked with her several times about how your feeling.. how about time alone? Date nights? If your thinking of calling the marriage off because its gotten so bad.. it's at least worth one more conversation.. I'm sorry you feel like you've hit a wall.. hopefully you get a chance to talk with her and get it through to her just HOW important this is to you.. and that you're contemplating divorce because of it.. sex drives are different.. but she should be pulling her weight in that area too.. especially knowing how important it is to you.. good luck

Try to talk to her again and ask if seeing a therapist should be considered as an option,May be a medical issue or meds hindering her sexual drive not sure
If the marriage is 50/50 she should have some concern re your fulfillment
in the area of intimacy,I commend you on your honesty and looking for
sensible solutions and seeking help,however this may be best suited for
a professional in this field,Without knowing the origin of her drawback- there
is not much one can say except to speculate?
Hoping for the best and that she will be Open and Honest and ready to
share more information with you
Peace,Love, Light ,Energy

She tries for a little bit, like a couple of weeks then it dies off. We have been to counseling. We had a bad counselor. That ended. I have bought 2 marriage programs and have found 2 more online. She starts doing them and then stops. When I bring up the problem to her, she winds up changing the subject to find something she might be angry with me about. It’s like she can’t stand it if I bring something up that is showing a shortfall in her. She won’t admit it or own up to it. When things are good between us, it is great, we laugh, have fun, have date nights etc. then it falls apart for no apparent reason. There are no prescriptions involved at all. She is 46 and may be starting menopause. If I even mention that, she goes off the deep end on me. She won’t go to the doctor to see. She says she isn’t crazy and doesn’t need any meds.

Hello,
I have heard that happen where a couple has a bad counselor and it goes
no where,There are better counselors out there,Maybe you can get suggestions of some new ones in your area? It seems there is another
underlying issue-maybe um Im sorry for your being deprived in this manner.
If she wont open up, and rejects the online programs after some time maybe
a session what about the suggestion below:

There are several components to having a healthy, long-term relationship, and great sex is definitely one of them. According to multiple studies, sex boosts happiness because it makes people feel more satisfied with their significant other. If your sex life has fizzled out and you're having trouble getting it back on track, you and your partner might consider attending one of several retreats around the world aimed at getting your sex and love life back in shape. Led by top relationship and sex therapists, these intimacy amp-up workshops are totally sleaze-free — no public sexual interaction or nudity in the itinerary.
You can google and look some up according to your desired price range
and travel desired locations- hope this might help let us know please!!!!

Light and Peace Wishes

First, you need her to understand that sex is a part of the relationship, and this discussion needs to occur in the context of the overall relationship. So instead of being meek Milton, next time you have something planned with her, a dinner with friends, cancel at the last minute, perhaps explaining you have a sports event to go to.

She will get mad. She will call you inconsiderate and selfish. Wait, wait, and say that a friend said that you need to put yourself first, start thinking about what makes you happy. She will get mad and then let her know, our relationship is not one of self-sacrifice. You do what makes you happy, I do what makes me. You are not interested in things you do not want to do, and I feel the same.

You may be tempted to address the issue head on, but you've tried that and got, I spoke with my friends, no woman should feel pressured, it's not you it's me, don't feel offended, now, that we got that out of the way, I'd like a rare steak for dinner, give me a check for 2,500 since I want to change the furniture in the living room, Any negotiation is based on desire, who wants things resolved, and she feels little pressure here.

In the interim, I would eliminate physical contact since that seems to empower her and is kind of disingenuous and weak.

Obviously she might not be completely satisfied, have some physical issues, or other concerns, and if the marriage as a whole is on the table, those need to be discussed. But I think there needs to be a good fight and real ventilation of issues, and neediness and accommodation is not the way to start this process.

Bobby5000, it’s past that point. We had the blow out argument. It is now in the stage of I say it’s black, she says it’s white. I’ve been here with her before and did the right steps to pull her out of it. This takes months. I bought marriage programs, I did them, not her. I read books, she didn’t. We now sleep in seperate bedrooms. There are no dates anymore. This rollercoaster has been going on with her for over 2 years. I’m tired and don’t have the energy anymore. But you are correct, I have to do the things that me happy. Did this before and she gets flaming hot angry. Oh well, I have to look out for me now.

You say she blames you. What does she say? Listen to her. Find out what the issues are. Look into yourself and find out if they are valid.

sex is not everything in a relationship, express your concerns about not having your sexual needs met. Explaining your end of it in a calm manner would go a long way

sex is not everything in a relationship, express your concerns about not having your sexual needs met. Explaining your end of it in a calm manner would go a long way