Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So as I mentioned in another comment, my now-ex moved his furniture out on Tuesday. He left things a mess, which was no surprise, but my current and previous roommates helped me to put a new room together. It looks so different.... which is helpful, I guess, because it looks and feels like a space that is "mine." But it's still hard to not think of how the room used to look when we spent lazy Saturdays in bed watching TV and enjoying each other's company. He'll be back this weekend to move the rest of his things, which is when we'll kind of say good bye (for now) and truly begin the whole No Contact thing. I'm pretty heartbroken and nervous about it.
But having my own space has really helped me to feel like I don't have to hold it together. The past couple of days, I've had my periods of crying and panic, but I've also started to have moments where I'm able to function. I try hard to not think about any of what's going on, and am able to kind of tune-out. Last night I even slept without any medicinal help... not as soundly, mind you, but it was something. I've also started to feel the beginnings of anger build up. Not only because of the breakup, itself, but all of the things that happened during our relationship that hurt me and I brushed aside for the sake of keeping the peace.... now I feel like I'm in a place where I can let myself be angry and hurt, and where I can hold him accountable for the crappy things that he did (even if it's just in my mind). I don't want it to overtake the memory of how much I love him and wanted our relationship to work, but maybe it'll help me to find peace if I honor the bad parts, too.
But dealing with these waves of functional-devastated-functional-panic attack is so tough on my mind and my heart. I know that it's preferable to just being straight devastated and panicked all day, but if I didn't feel crazy enough before, I certainly do now. Thankfully, today I go back to my previous therapist, and with any luck he'll be able to help me sort out this mess a little.
Keep your fingers crossed for me that I survive this difficult weekend and make it through to the other side with as much of myself intact as possible? I'll need all of the positive energy I can manage. I hope you all have relaxing weekends, I'll be sending positive thoughts your way!
But having my own space has really helped me to feel like I don't have to hold it together. The past couple of days, I've had my periods of crying and panic, but I've also started to have moments where I'm able to function. I try hard to not think about any of what's going on, and am able to kind of tune-out. Last night I even slept without any medicinal help... not as soundly, mind you, but it was something. I've also started to feel the beginnings of anger build up. Not only because of the breakup, itself, but all of the things that happened during our relationship that hurt me and I brushed aside for the sake of keeping the peace.... now I feel like I'm in a place where I can let myself be angry and hurt, and where I can hold him accountable for the crappy things that he did (even if it's just in my mind). I don't want it to overtake the memory of how much I love him and wanted our relationship to work, but maybe it'll help me to find peace if I honor the bad parts, too.
But dealing with these waves of functional-devastated-functional-panic attack is so tough on my mind and my heart. I know that it's preferable to just being straight devastated and panicked all day, but if I didn't feel crazy enough before, I certainly do now. Thankfully, today I go back to my previous therapist, and with any luck he'll be able to help me sort out this mess a little.
Keep your fingers crossed for me that I survive this difficult weekend and make it through to the other side with as much of myself intact as possible? I'll need all of the positive energy I can manage. I hope you all have relaxing weekends, I'll be sending positive thoughts your way!
deleted_user
The emotional roller coaster is hard. I have been on one for a year now. It got even harder when my ex started dating someone new. I too try to remember the bad times and for some reason the good ones keep creeping back in and make me panicked all over. It takes a lot of time I guess. I try to stay focused and being on hear and reading all the other hurting people does help. I hope you find peace. I hope we all find peace and happiness. The holidays certainly doesn't help. You will survive. Maybe even find a better place. Be well.
deleted_user
(((Hugs))) to you!! I can so relate. I am in a devasted place right now, which has kind of shocked me after being so functional and holding it together really well the last few weeks. I think the really low times help me appreciate the times that I am coping better. But you're right, they do make you feel crazy!! Sending positive thoughts your way as well.
deleted_user
Hi... What you say here: But dealing with these waves of functional-devastated-functional-panic attack is so tough on my mind and my heart. I know that it's preferable to just being straight devastated and panicked all day, but if I didn't feel crazy enough before, I certainly do now. Thankfully, today I go back to my previous therapist, and with any luck he'll be able to help me sort out this mess a little. This is exactly what I'm going through :( I hope you get better soon....
tcl18
been there, done that. Still happens somedays but more "normal" days in between. Relaxation audios help me cope with the panic.
deleted_user
I'm in the exact same situation. The roller coaster is just horrible on me. I get panic attacks, anxiety, depression.... and with the holidays coming, it doesn't help. I haven't actually asked my husband for a divorce but I know that's what I want and need. I just don't know how to tell him because he already has a lot of things going on in his life without me adding a divorce to it. I hate that I'm hurting him and it's making me wait for a "better timing". I have moved out to my friend's house because I needed some time to think and I needed space.
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