Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
How is it that a single person can be responsible for so much pain? How can one person be responsible for creating such a huge gaping void inside of me?
I am so tired of the aloneness. I am so tired of feeling lonely. Even after almost two years the feeling of being alone and dealing with the lonliness and the gaping void I feel in my centre is beginning to be more than I feel I can deal with.
It's a constant outward pressure and it never ceases. I cry more than I have ever in my entire life. It's a low but persistent feeling, but sometimes it swells up and I don't what to do about it. I'm not sure where to put this feeling or how to deal with it. I reach out to friends, but it seems it's mostly a one way street. I reach out and reach out and rarely does anyone reach back. The only time I see people is when I'm asking them. I feel so alone and I'm tired of it.
At least when I was with her, I felt like the void was gone. Someone to help, someone to be here and talk to. Always a friend. No she's gone and I have no idea what to do with the hole that was left.
I miss her all the time. What is wrong with me. The woman who shattered my heart and hardened my soul and I miss her!
I know I need help. I know I need to go and see someone about this.
I don't want to feel this way. I want to numb the pain, but nothing helps. Activities are temporary and once I'm home the pain returns. I often go cycling. I'll ride for hours and when it gets late I know I have to go home, but I don't want to. My house is lonely. It's just me there. No one to return to.
What have others done when they've felt this way? Does it ever go away? I feel like it won't and I'm stuck feeling this way until the end of my days!
I don't want to feel this way anymore.
I just needed to write my feelings down. I feel like it helps to speak it.
Good night.The Late Brew.
Thats just me. This whole process is gut wretching
And terrible. How long since your divorce ? you keep
Saying two years but seperation and divorce is like
Living thru a war zone there is no healing until after the
Divorce is final. There is no going back its done so Then
the healing can finally begin.
Let yourself grieve that helps with healing process
And it lets you move thru it. There is no timeline for
Grief everybody is different. The rule of thumb is it
Takes 3 years after the divorce to normalize. I am
Still not normalized at 14 months yet.
Yes people do disappear after a while we burden
Our firends with our pain. Thats why it is good to
Talk to like minded people or go to therapy to
Help with the transitioning and work thru our
Issues. HUGS
We can't use other people or alcohol or whatever to fill perceived voids in our lives.
Counseling may help you to see options you didn't even know existed.
That space inside of you, for her, or anyone we let in our lives, even friends, will always be there. Whether we like it or not, that is their space, always. What we can do is learn to manage the feelings associated with that not try to make it all go away. All that does is frustrate us and make things harder to get over cus we aren't really letting it go.
With time, as everyone says, you will have less attachment to that space and less pain will come from it. But what I have found is that there will be times, where you will come across that part of your life and still may feel some sorrow. More so for how you were treated, then for how you and her are over. I came across that myself. Where I read my initial journal when I first came to DS after my split with my ex. I felt that pain all over again reading how the events of the break up unfolded. But the hurt wasnt because we weren't together anymore. It was mainly because of, just how she acted when she decided it was over. How someone treats us can have a lasting impact depending on how we allow others to impact us.
We should never let someone have so much control over our emotions that we waste away and / or not believe life is worth living anymore. That is just too much power to give to someone. Its easier said then done, but we have to remember that when we give someone all that power, we render ourselves powerless. When in all reality, the power is within us, not them.
Going south. I stayed when i really should have flipped
Him the bird and left. My gut knew it and i stayed and
Tried some more. Guess what it only hurt me so much
More in the long run.
I took my power back before he left i no longer put
Up with his stuff and handed it back to him. I continue
To work on myself and my issues thru support groups
And a great therapist.
The void is an empty space from them but its also
Our own empty space. We need to build ourselves
Back up to be happy within ourselves even being
Alone and being content, one with God really.
Keep reaching out, i hope you go to a therapist
At minimum to help get over the hump and not
Sink into a deep depression. I have situational
depression Its lifting slowly. Time does take
Time. Feel your feelings and emotions process
Them then let them go. HUGS
I don't dump on my friends anymore. I did once upon a time for sure. I do need to get therapy, that's without a doubt.
I guess part of it is I'm just disappointed in my friends. I'm tired of reaching out to people, we hang out and then I never hear from them until the next time I reach out!
It's tiring.
Time for new friends.