It may be in the perception of things right now. They may see that you are hurting and need some space, or you may still be projecting this I am not ready aura around you,. I have heard so many say this that when they first broke up and were in a lot of pain, that people avoided them like the plague, but the minute their hearts were truly healed and a smile had found them, then other people did too. This is a time to just keep working on being happy by yourself. When that is done, I am sure that if you want another in your life , you can add him, but for now, just enjoy this time you have to do what ever it is that you want to do without telling another of your plans. That is very freeing and may be one of the last times this might happen in your life. Find something that you have always wanted to do,, or learn and do that for awhile. In time, another will find you, because you are pretty terrific! Healing hugs, Kimmee

I don't think it has anything to do with your sins or karma. My guess would be it has more to do with the fact that you are still grieving. The energy you put out is related to what you are feeling inside. Don't be so hard on yourself. Let your heart heal in it's own time. I am certain that when you are feeling stronger from all of this, things will change for the better. Hugs to you, Strumphyy

I agree with Red. If you're still even partly in love with someone else, then the guys you meet will sense that and run away.

Also confidence attracts and yours is shot right now.

Give it time.

In some ways, that may be a blessing for you. This probably wouldn't be the best time to rush into another relationship. You need to focus on yourself for while, learning to be healthy and happy alone. Through that process, your "positive" aura will begin to shine through.

Ok, A guy perspective...

It's a combination of things. Women will sense things like grieving and lost love. Guys will sense things like "a neediness". In the end they both come from the same place in you. Nothing causes a guy to run faster than when a woman is trying to validate that she is lovable (ie. is needy). This is with the exception of the exact men you want to avoid, they seek out the vunerable and needy. So, as long as you feel you are giving off this bad aura, then it is probably good for you to sit back and heal. You may not want the men that will want you right now. It is very likely that they are not what you are looking for.

When you stop feeling like you have lost, and you stop feeling the need to be validated in love, love will come back into your life from people whose love you deserve.

Lots of love. I am sorry you are here. You are a lovable person. You just need to take a time out to heal and love you.

- R

You are all right..I guess I need time to heal first..It's just that loneliness puts me in this dark pit of sadness..It feels like drowning..How can I let myself heal when this is choking me?...:(

Loneliness can be exhausting, consuming and certainly reflects your outlook and behavior. You will heal in your own way and time, try not to rush anything, be natural, find yourself and think you'll be surprised once you break out...extra good vibes your way...

I do feel the way you do sometimes. I feel like I am giving off some bad vibes that doesn't attract potential partners. I know that it isn't true though. I think it is just my low self esteem talking to me at those times. I would like to believe that the right person just hasn't come to me yet.

Yah I was going to say your aura is just telling now is not the right time.

I wish my aura was that in tune.

You received some great perspective here. I'd just add - be as kind to yourself as you can.

I think 'the scarlett letter B' is just the perfect way to sum up what you are feeling.

Someone who can state things so beautifully amidst grief, it will be even moreso in time for you.

rooting for you ~~~

wow, in my journal that I wrote last night, I used the exact same phrase:

Scarlet letter, but D, not B

wow yes
LOL..
Unfortuantely I do feel like this, like I have this sign on me,like I am exposed. I have never thought when i read the book, how painful it is..I almost figured it romantic, but whatever it's romantic in books, like sacrifices and bravehearts, it's so blunt and grey in real life..

This all due to your perspective and you are projecting this feeling. You are 22, I was married for 22 years, you have your whole life a head of you. Maybe its time for you to concentrate on you and your life and don't get all hung up in finding another relationship. Get out and have some fun, get counseling because depression is not attractive. Once you start living your life again things will change and you will be fending guys off left and right.

After a breakup I swear however well we try to hide it, there is an intangible something that tells people "Not Ready" i know and feel this even after a year, we all have our different speeds be kind to yourself and when you reach tha equilibrium. you will see the change, until the you have us here.