Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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The rollercoaster. It's UNREAL!

DaffodilsForever
DaffodilsForever

AGGGH.


He is agreeing we need to find a divorce mediator. On one hand, it makes me feel relieved. But I am still so, so, SO heartbroken. About what was and what I had hoped we could have. 


I'm sitting here and there are pictures of us in happy times on the wall. Do I leave some for him, take some for me? Do I even WANT them?


I have to start packing up my stuff and shipping it back to my home state. Again...I am excited for some of the possibilities and the independence I'll have.. and so thankful I'll have my WARM and loving family.....but HE was supposed to be that! He stopped. He wouldn't fix it. He was supposed to be my best friend. He stopped. 


So many things to unravel. I don't have the energy. I just don't.



basnime
basnime
I am so there with my emotions today. He was my person to talk to for 15 years. This is so hard.
DaffodilsForever
DaffodilsForever
11 years here. 10 years married. He became someone totally different and I just don't know why, and neither does he. He refused counseling. I feel I gave and gave and gave and gave.......
PeaceHarmony
PeaceHarmony
Dear DaffodilsForever, I so hear your pain. And I am so thankful you will have loving and supportive family around you while you recover from this immense grief. Please ensure you get all the support you can during this time. As someone once said here on DS, you need a "Dream Team." That will be your lawyer, counsellor/coach, support group members, safe friends and yes, your family. A therapist or coach who understands betrayal trauma will be able to walk you through this. And regarding the mediator, please make sure your financial interests are represented fairly. This is a time when you need to think clearly while you negotiate these legal matters. A support network will help you do that. Wishing you healing and strength in the days ahead. PH
DaffodilsForever
DaffodilsForever
Thanks so much, PH. It means a lot that you fellow members take the time to read and reply!
I do have a therapist, thankfully, and she's amazing. I totally agree about thinking clearly...which as you know is not so easy at this time. I am wondering about my work schedule. I will be leaving soon and oh my. Such a long day tomorrow and I have to prepare to get out of here and move back across the country....
princesstears
princesstears
I understand you. In a way, it feels like he betrayed you. Why couldn't just do what he promised when he said his vows? I get it. I have been wondering the same thing. I put all my pictures away. It hurts too bad to look at them and then the hurt turns to anger. Those pictures are no good to you at this point. Lean into your family. You need strength right now and it seems like they will hold you up until you do it on your own.
DaffodilsForever
DaffodilsForever
It's so true, princess. He DID betray me. All he had to do was go to therapy and get on his way to getting better. He wouldn't do it. I blame his cold, money hungry and distant parents for a lot of his behavior..but he ALSO HAD A CHOICE TO CHANGE and not become them! I guess I understand why some people keep pictures. But right now, I feel like leaving ALL of them behind. It does go between dramatic tears and then major anger. Every. Single. Day.
jojored
jojored
At least in the room I've claimed as my bedroom, I've taken to taping notes on the pictures of him in here. Like a message board. I don't have to see him and it's handy.

I would ask him which pictures he wants and then scan them into the computer and email them to him. He can print out copies if he wants. Afterwards, just put them in a box and put something pretty up where they were. Hang in there!