Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
The rejection part is just confusing the hell out of me. Now i can tell you right now that my therapist has specifically stated that my x2b has some serious issues. Like carrying bitterness and hatred from way before even me, but also including me to alarming degrees. Like he said if i were Jesus Christ himself i was could not have saved this marriage. Like no forgiveness, like i was never going to be good enough, like never truly committed enough to the marriage enough to fight for the marriage and without a doubt...a runner, a runner, a runner. But...the rejection part...like i am an kiss her feet, i have a sense of humor, i am complementary and sentimental and sincere and i know very very well that (God Bless you women and sorry guys) she is not going to find someone else like me. She has even admitted to this!!!!!!!!!! She said she is afraid she could be screwing her life up, BUT............because she can't forgive me and let go of bitterness toward a man (me) who really truly is a very changed person, we are officially done forever. Like how do you decide that the kind of man you really want who could give you 50 really loving great years of future is just not something you want because of some stupid shit that i did in the past that i just simply wont do again. And she agrees with all of it and she still says bye bye... Confusing!!! I think some info is missing maybe. Seriously.... Just not making sense, except all that stuff my therapist said...he makes money and i make mistakes...go figure
If you need anyone to talk to, to vent, please feel free to message me.
You are still in stage one trying to find answers. That is normal and we have all been there or going through it.
The problem is that most times we are trying to find the answers we want and not what is the truth. Sometimes there might not even be any answers and we have to accept that or drive ourselves crazy.
Awsaws: let me tell you something that you need to accept. You are not in control here. Nothing about this is in your control except what you decide to do with yourself. You can't force her to love you or want to try or to forgive you. That is ALL in her hands. All you can do is accept her decision and move on with your life. The faster you understand this the easier it will be for you. Yes, I know this is not what you want to hear. You probably want to take away the guilt and put some of the blame on her. But the faster you accept the fact that she is entitled to her decision and entitled to find her happiness and follow HER path, the faster you will move on to the next stages in your grief.
Buddy it is hard, VERY VERY hard to find acceptance. But you need to stop finding where to put the blame. It is not your fault and it is not her fault. It just is what it is. It sucks but this is what it is.
You need to start focusing on you. You need to find something to occupy your mind before you become so fixated on this and her that it becomes your whole world and you find yourself in a dark hole without a glimpse of light to follow. I have been there and it is VERY easy to fall into that.
I worry you are heading down that path and I beg you to find another path to follow.
Google the 7 stages of grieving after a divorce.... It will help you understand what you are going through. Also try to surround yourself with people who will push you forward and not just hug you and tell you it is ok to feel this way. These people make us feel better for a moment but don't help us up. We need people, during these times, that will tell us the hard truth. That will help us swallow that jagged pill but will shove it down our throat if needed. These are the kind of people we need around us even if we hate them sometimes because they tell us what we need to hear instead of what we want to hear.
I wish you luck my friend. I really do hope the best for you and pray for your prompt recovery.