Thinking of you. It's the worst pain imaginable. Right there with you.

The pain is gut wrenching at times. The constant dialogue in your head. The fact that you are so focused on your pain that you actually forget to eat. I live alone so the thought of cooking and then cleaning up the mess for one seems ridiculous to me.

Having been through this before (my first wife died of caner at the age of 38) I can tell you to just take one breath at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time and eventually the pain and fog will slowly, imperceptibly begin too lift. No one knows when for we are all different. But it will happen, tomorrow will be a better day (someday).

Hi basnime- <<<hugs>>> I know it hurts. Many of us are in the same pain you are in. It gets better with time and will someday barely mean much to you. Until then lean on family, friends, this site and others. Look into support groups like Divorce Care or whatever else you can find in your area-even advice from a therapist if you feel. It's a terrible time I know but you will get through this. Keep in touch here. Our ears are here for ya!

Thank you for your kind words. I've tried prayer , sleeping, everything.. My family wants me to just get over it. I'm losing my mind.

I feel what you're feeling basnime. The only thing I can offer up is that it will get easier. And lean on those friends and family. It has taken me a while to take that advice, but I am starting to do that now, and it definitely makes a difference. This site has been a huge help, and continues to be a great resource for those who are going through the same exact thing. Stay strong. You're not losing your mind, even thought it may not seem that way. You're just hurting really badly, and that's ok.

I'm hurting so so badly

I feel your pain. I am going through the same thing to. It's only been 2 weeks for me. We were together for 22 years we started dating when I was 19 She had an affair and it's crippled me. It's tough I wish we all could fast forward time to when the pain goes away but I don't think it will ever go away, but we will get better. That is my hope.

I feel your pain my fiancé or should I say ex now has picked up and basically abandoned me and our 5 kids he hasn't moved out his things yet but basically he has moved out leaving me with no car cant get to work so basically I'm stuck so unsure of what to do know but I know it will eventually get better. I'm just still trying to figure things out.

It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death. Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.

Hugs :). Try to avoid seeing your ex as much as possible-- it will make it easier on the kids too. Have you considered changing the pick up/ drop off arrangement so that you don't have to see him as often? I've heard of people doing this with school and daycare. For example, if your ex gets the kids on tinge weekend, you would drop off the kids at school in the morning on Friday and your ex would pick them up from school after school on Friday. Then he would drop them off at school on a Monday morning and you'd pick them up on Monday after school. This is just one scenario but maybe something like it could work for you.

That is a great idea. The trouble I am having is the routine. The kids have never had to navigate between two homes. The packing the unpacking. It is so stressful. He is insistent on not making his new apartment their home. He bought furniture but will not get them beds. It is so hurtful. There was not an affair on my part. I went through a tough time in the last two years and he said I was abusive. I will admit I lashed out Thank you all for the support. It means so much. Thanks for listening.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Love can be a blessing and a curse. The important thing to be there for your children. It is impossible to control everything in their lives, but what you can do us show them that you love them. Also, it is best not to say anything negative about your ex. in front of your children. Change is hard, no matter what the age. Sometimes life is a "one step forward at a time, thing."