4 days is a very short amount of time so the intensity of your pain and sorrow is understandable! You must give yourself time to process this betrayal. The first thing I would suggest is doing any form of exercise. Walking, hiking, or yoga are all great ways to help your body heal your mind. Also, read the recent post from ripped_my_heart out. You will see the hope. You must stay strong and focused for your kids!

We all know your pain, we have all experienced it, we understand it. It does lessen, I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it does. Feel your pain, grieve the relationship, cry, do what it takes to get it out. After, you can find your self....who are you besides a mom and a partner?

Thankyou both for your understanding. What is ripped my heart out? Is it on here? Thanks x

Ripped out is another person on here.

Nothing lasts forever...not even emotional anguish and grief..it will get better. Have faith in that. It'll take a little while and the time depenfs entirely on you. The hurt and the pain will eventually, slowly but surely subside enough that you can regain function. The more you accomplish, the better it will get. Im a work in progress myself and i still do have bad days. Its important not write youself off. Youre probably an great person with all kids of passion and interests. You're a good person for making your family the center of your world and i know all too well the feeling of a core collapse, where the nucleus splits and your world blows up....it still sucks but it WILL get better if you can allow it to. You're going to have to create a new identity for yourself and with that comes fantastic opportunities!! Again I'm working on the same thing myself. Same situation. Wife....stbx, having affairs for at LEAST a year and I firmly believe it's been multiple guys based on timestamping photos and hindsight on shady behavior around different guys.......its so frickin hard to let it go, but that's what we have to do. Fixating on things we can't control and actions that have already transpired will only hold us back. Wallowing is perfectly natural. We are emotional beings after all and when you Really do love someone who betrays you it really hurts....however don't beat youself up over it. This is their shame not ours. We have to pick ourselves up. I hope you can find strength here, but even moreso in your own life in the real world. Life will move on without usbif we let it and we have kids to manage, maintain and help grow into the best people we can model for them. They're going to know who's in the wrong eventually and remember which parent found the strength to focus on them, who made them the priority. We cant help anyone if we can't help ourselves. I'm walking the same path. Strenth and hugs-FG

Thankyou so much for your time to help me. I really do appreciate it. Makes me feel I'm not alone in all this. I have bought a book on Kindle and going to read it tonight, give my mind a little rest from my situation.

Great share family guy, we are all on a recovery
Journey. The Grief is pretty intense at the beginning
And does start to fade eventually as we heal and
Grow.

I cried for four Months after he left even though the
last 12 years Were bad emotionally with him. HUGS

Not sure how to send a hug on this but sending big hugs to you all. So supportive and kind even though you have your own problems. Thanks again

Hello. I'm ripped_my_heart_out. I've been through the same thing. It's been 15 weeks since I found out of her multiple affairs. All the lies from the last couple years, betrayal, pain, all the time trying to figure out the why? I've learned that I'll never know the why and have to move past this.

It is not easy, I still have the pain but it's getting better slowly. Get the support you need, this will be a tough go. Join a support group if possible. Go to counseling, nothing wrong with that. Most importantly grieve. Take the time you need to grieve. The grief is the toughest but needs to be dealt with. There's no set time for people to get through the grief.

Focus on yourself by eating right, try to get the sleep you need (hard I know) and exercise. Exercise helps with the stress plus you get in shape at the same time :)

This place is a good place to post and vent. It helps. There are good people on here dealing with the same situations. (Shout out to cleigh & mirandac) stay strong, you are only at the beginning, it's hard and no easy way to deal with it. We've been there and still going through it. You can get through it too. Takes time
-HUGS-