Together for 27 years is a long time. A lot has been invested. Perhaps you should ask your doctor to adjust your meds or a different one. Chemistry first.

Of course you are feeling terrible, this life is what you know. You are scared about what life will be. I promise you that you will endure and that when you are past this you will realize that you will be stronger and happier than you were before. Meet with a doctor, see what you can take now for your anxiety. Of course you are struggling but you will be okay. You are 43. Yay for you, I am 55 :( You have likely more than half your life ahead of you. You now know what you want in a relationship and what you don't want. Take out a pen and paper and write down who or what you would like in your perfect, ideal relationship. Is that what you really had. I know today is hard but tomorrow is truly what you make it. "Our entire experience on this planet is determined by how we chose to perceive our reality." You now have the opportunity to explore yourself further and also explore new relationships, new people and new situations. You have just been awarded a chance to change and experience more than before. Remember, life is good and you have a wonderful life ahead of you. Embrace change, because change is different, sometimes scary, but definitely not bad. Enjoy!

Sorry you find yourself in this messy world of a split and heart ache. Its not easy to be able to wrap your head around all that is happening or to take care of your heart when its already been broken.

Your life is going to certainly change and getting on your own two feet isnt easy for anyone, let alone someone who has had consistency over all those years from you were a teen. You are going to have to nibble at all that is coming at you until you can start to take full bites again, and I am not only talking about physically eating or taking care of yourself.

I dont know what kind of meds you are on, but no meds can take away whats in your mind or heart. So looking for a quick solution isn't always going to get your where you need to be. THey are mainly there to help smooth out bumps, not solve anything. With that said, unless you have a physical illness, I wouldn't mess around with dosage of meds. Cus regardless of how strong the dosage is, it won't erase the memories or pain you feel. You are going to just have to wade through this and the stages that are coming your way in order to really make it through and come out on top.

Take care of your most basic things. First
Things first, one step in front of the other.
Thats about the best you can do most days.

Talk to woman aid or the shelter people for
Support. Often there is help available and
resources such as job training, housing,
financial and emotional Support

Will you get a settlement out of him with
Out having your own lawyer? He is not your
Friend anymore so think of him as your financial
Enemy.

He wants out he is going to pay and pay fairly
And justly. Most states are 50-50 in long term
Marriages. Sell the house whatever, its not a
Good feeling when you have no money or a job.

The feelings of powerlessness are scary. Seek
divorce support and therapy. Keep reaching out
For support, It is a sign of strength not weakness.

I am very sorry for your hurt and pain. HUGS

I am very sorry for your terrible suffering. Do you have a close friend who could help you for now? Try to brainstorm a list of priorities that needs to be done. Then put all your focus on just one thing at a time. You can do this but a big part of the battle now is believing that you can get through it. encourage yourself for every step you take. You are building independence and self sufficiency. Talk to your doctor first about something to help control your anxiety and nausea. Keep a close watch on your weight and hydration. Try to see a therapist as soon as possible to help you through this.

Your post is exactly what I went through five months ago. I have been married 23 years to an abusive man. I have a part-time job, but I don't earn much. I have no college degree either. I also don't have a car. We have two cars ... one is his company car that he can use freely and the other is a car we lease that he gave to my daughter for college. I mostly walk or ride my bike to work, even in the bad weather, unless I'm lucky enough to get a ride. I have wanted a divorce for years, but like you, the thought of one actually made me sick. It wasn't so much the thought of losing him or the marriage, but how I was going to manage.

On Mother's Day, he served me himself with divorce papers and a huge sneer. I almost passed out. I don't know what kind of meds you are on, but the feelings you are having are completely normal and understandable. I'm not sure if meds will help them. Anyway, here is what I did:

1. Got a therapist right away. I went to Psychology Today's website where they have tons of therapists all over the country listed. I put in my zip code, got the profiles of the ones in my area and read through them all to find ones that took my insurance and specialized in divorce and abuse. Then I called them and "interviewed" them over the phone. One of them clicked with me immediately and I made an appointment. I was a nervous wreck the whole time. I cried and cried throughout the hour. I'm still seeing her, but she has been a GODSEND to me. I don't know how I would be getting through this without her.

2. Post often on this forum. The people here are amazing! They are so comforting. They don't make you feel stupid or judge you. They give you the benefit of their experiences, valuable information and lots of encouragement.

3. Get a good attorney. Ask friends for recommendations. Ask other attorneys you may know or your doctor or dentist for a recommendation. Go to AVVO and look up attorneys in your area and read their reviews. Pick three to call. Most will give you a free consultation. Once you find out your rights, you will feel a lot stronger.

4. Read books about divorce. I didn't have the money to buy books so I went to Amazon and searched for books on divorce. I picked the top rated ones and asked my library to get them for me. If you're worried the library people might think they're for you, tell yourself (or them even) that you're doing research for an article or for your sister or whatever. The important thing is that you get that information.

What you are feeling is normal. You need to know, however, that it won't last. Once you start building a support system and getting information, you will begin to feel stronger.

A few more thoughts. There is lots of free help available to you. You just have to know where to go.

Everyone told me to get a credit card in my name only while I still can claim his income. He doesn't need to know about it. My attorney told me to get two of them. I went to my bank and sat down with a banker. Some people suggested finding a woman banker who would understand your position, but I could only find a man and he turned out to be great. At first, I was hesitant to tell him my situation, but after a while, I felt comfortable enough to confide in him and I did. He was great! I got two credit cards. Tuck them away for emergencies or begin making small purchases with them to start building your own credit. If you make small purchases, pay them off entirely immediately. I felt so empowered when I got those cards! One of them has a super high credit limit which gives me comfort. I certainly don't plan on using it (I am not a spender), but it's nice to know I have that in case of an emergency.

Another thing your bank provides for free I found out is the services of a financial advisor. This is someone who will sit down with you, help you figure out your finances and give you advice for free. You aren't obligated to take his/her advice either, but it's good to have that knowledge.

At first, I wanted to sell our house and get something smaller, but after speaking to a friend who is a realtor, I changed my mind. He told me that for what our mortgage payment is, I couldn't even rent an apartment in my area. I'm going to try to keep it.

At the very least, you should get alimony. In my area, alimony is determined by a formula ... 30% of his income minus 20% of mine. Look up what the rules for alimony (maintenance) are in your state. You can find that info for free online.

Samantha has provided some very good advice. Please get busy and do what she has detailed. Not only will it help you it will get you focused on something else other than the devastation you are feeling atm. I am sorry you are going through such heartache. You are not alone, we have all been there in one form or another. Concentrate and focus in small increments as Chitown suggested. If you feel you can only get on with the next minute then do it and try to build on it when you are ready. I know its hard but you can do it and before you know it you will be focusing on getting your life together and moving on. There is life after a relationship breaking down even if you do not see it right now. I hope you find some peace soon.