Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So, broke up him Wednesday night. He hasn't stopped texting, calling. He goes all the way from "I love you, please don't do this" to "fine, I'll just call her and get back with her, hope your happy!" at least 100 texts yesterday alone. I try to ignore them, but I do respond to some (I know it's stupid). But on to my real dilemma of the day...
So much of his stuff is at my house. Clothes, Playstation, toilettries... I told him that I will pack everything up for him and he can come get it Saturday. Saturday is going to be horrible. I know it. It's going to be just like the last time. He will come to get his things. We will try to talk. I will try to explain why we need to be over. He will then use every trick in his arsenal to get me to change my mind. He will be sweet, then aggressive. Then he will refuse to leave. Then I will be forced to let him stay or call the cops. Or watch him try to commit suicide in my kitchen (again).
The right answer is clear, I know it. I should call my mom or one of my sisters and have them at the house to let him in instead of me being there. Easy answer, right? So why do I not want to do that? I would feel bad for doing that. I just want this to end without any additional unneccesary pain for either of us. Can you believe it? Me feel bad for putting him through that after all he's put me through?? LOL! I know what the right thing to do is, and I know what will happen if I don't do it. How do I have so little control over my own actions??
Maybe there is a different option? I'm desperate for a better option....
Just pack up his stuff and put it just inside the front door. Block his number. Hang out in a different room when he's taking his stuff. Have someone there.
If you're under the age of 21 or so you get a pass for lack of experience.
Anything above that is game playing. Attempts at emotional manipulation and game playing.
If you keep taking his calls, allowing him back etc it's all on you.
Sorry if I sound harsh, but honestly people who post complaining about phone calls etc. when it takes no more than 10 minutes to block calls, emails, Facebook etc just plain must enjoy it on some level.
Which is fine. But then don't complain.
I have no hurt feelings or anger toward you, as I don't know you from Adam. But again, please, try to keep an open mind unless you are living the situation with me.
Thank you.
I can only comment on the information you've presented here in your posts.
If people here want to keep their excuses and rationalizations for dysfunction, that's certainly their perogative.
I'm committed to honesty my own life so that's the way I reply.
There comes a point when you have to take responsibility for your life and allowing yourself to be walked on.
I'd rather be considered a truthful straight forward person, but if I have the choice between "bitch" and " sadsack doormat" I'll take bitch every time.
Bitch, by the way, is usually what you get called when you stop taking people's shit.
While I was initially pissed off at your response (I am a bitch in other aspects of my life), I'll be honest again and let you know that it's actually helping already. Not sure if you intend to be this way, but I'm picturing you as the coach cursing out his player just to get that pissed off reaction that motivates him work harder. I like it. Thanks. Feel free to message me if you want.