Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have not been here in awhile because last Feb I went back to Asia to find out the truth. My STBX kept denying any 3rd party, denied infidelity etc. I wanted to believe him despite my gut feeling, so I broke the no contact rule.
When I returned to Asia (where my SBTX retired), he still denied being unfaithful. My sister in law however was convinced he was not telling me the truth. Everywhere we went, the waitresses and hotel staff who remembered me from last year told me he was dating someone else, and even got her to stay with him in his hotel room. At the time I felt my stomach just got kicked, but I maintained my composure because he continued to deny being unfaithful.
Well yesterday I spoke to him. He was distressed and panicking. He got some girl pregnant. The same girl he'd been taking to his hotel. He finally admitted he'd been having sex with her as early as last year. I felt my world crumbled. All my hopes of starting over has just evaporated. He's been lying all along and I threw this at him. All he could say was "sorry, sorry". I actually have not cried since hearing the news. I guess all my tears are exhausted, I feel numb right now. But I could not sleep last night, thinking what a lying deceitful bastard he is, and I hope Karma gets his ass soon.
The girl wanted marriage. I told him this is classic entrapment especially from that part of the world to better their lives. He is terrified and wanted my advise. I told him "I should have cut you loose last October when you started this". He pleaded with me not to cut him loose.
When I woke up this morning, I felt so much tension in my body I went for a long walk and started thinking "I should have cut him loose back in October. I should not have turned back". So now I am in this predicament, although I am not hurting anymore, it still came as a shock to me.
So for those who are hurting and really want to keep the communications open, pls be strong and learn from me. Nothing good will ever come out of it. Even though my STBX want to get back together, the trust has been broken, it is just not the same, I don't feel the same for him anymore. And it's only been 5 months since he started this. What's so bitter was my Dad died and I could not even talk to him about it for support because he was so busy screwing his whore. Now he is panicking because he is will have to support the child.
For those who are hurting, have faith and hope. What you are feeling will pass. Even if it is slow in coming, your healing will come. But you must not break the No Contact rule. Hugs to everyone who's hurting and I thank everyone who supported me during my very difficult times.
When I returned to Asia (where my SBTX retired), he still denied being unfaithful. My sister in law however was convinced he was not telling me the truth. Everywhere we went, the waitresses and hotel staff who remembered me from last year told me he was dating someone else, and even got her to stay with him in his hotel room. At the time I felt my stomach just got kicked, but I maintained my composure because he continued to deny being unfaithful.
Well yesterday I spoke to him. He was distressed and panicking. He got some girl pregnant. The same girl he'd been taking to his hotel. He finally admitted he'd been having sex with her as early as last year. I felt my world crumbled. All my hopes of starting over has just evaporated. He's been lying all along and I threw this at him. All he could say was "sorry, sorry". I actually have not cried since hearing the news. I guess all my tears are exhausted, I feel numb right now. But I could not sleep last night, thinking what a lying deceitful bastard he is, and I hope Karma gets his ass soon.
The girl wanted marriage. I told him this is classic entrapment especially from that part of the world to better their lives. He is terrified and wanted my advise. I told him "I should have cut you loose last October when you started this". He pleaded with me not to cut him loose.
When I woke up this morning, I felt so much tension in my body I went for a long walk and started thinking "I should have cut him loose back in October. I should not have turned back". So now I am in this predicament, although I am not hurting anymore, it still came as a shock to me.
So for those who are hurting and really want to keep the communications open, pls be strong and learn from me. Nothing good will ever come out of it. Even though my STBX want to get back together, the trust has been broken, it is just not the same, I don't feel the same for him anymore. And it's only been 5 months since he started this. What's so bitter was my Dad died and I could not even talk to him about it for support because he was so busy screwing his whore. Now he is panicking because he is will have to support the child.
For those who are hurting, have faith and hope. What you are feeling will pass. Even if it is slow in coming, your healing will come. But you must not break the No Contact rule. Hugs to everyone who's hurting and I thank everyone who supported me during my very difficult times.
I broke that damn rule a million times when I first separated, but it really is effective...and much easier to do in relationships since my divorce.
My divorce was final the end of last month, after 4 years seperation, has brought up some crazy, but normal emotions, but just like the rest of you I am maintaining and dealing and forward I march..
All you guys posts help me more than u could possibly imagine.
Tessa, sorry you are dealing with this too. Idk your whole history, but I get the big picture.
You sound like you are strong and intelligent.
You will be ok.. we all will. :)
When I returned there last Feb, he changed his mind about the resort, he wanted something else. After learning of this pregnancy, I decided he probably won't go ahead with it anyway, so I might as well throw him out and save myself from pain. It was tempting to say "she can have him and I'll have the resort'. But because the resort is up in the air right now, I will save myself some grief.
TTMI, I sure will read your story. And Leah, thanks but I think after 15 months of no contact, I won't even think of this low-life lying bastard.
Breaking the no contact too often comes with hurt, pain and unbelievable revelations (I have another woman/man and she's/he's so much better than you) and all that crap. It breaks spirit and heart.
I must say I savoured the humble tone of his voice followed by an apology. Considering that this is a guy who normally never apologises, it was a spectacle to behold! He said it won't happen again. HA! of course not because I'm cutting you loose asshole, and I should have done this last year! This brought more tears and more begging of forgiveness and pleading not to cut him loose. And more bullshit promises, etc, etc. I left it at that.
Right now, I could not feel anything for this man, that in fact if and when I see him again, I don't know if I could hide my contempt for him.