Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
my wife had an affair. my wife loves me. but, she is in love with the guy she had an affair with. for months she has gone back and forth between him and me. now, she has agreed to quit her job on monday and to leave with me on wednesday without telling him. we will leave the state and not come back.
her job was the link to him. every time it would almost be over with him, he would show up or call her at work and start talking to her. the feelings would come back and she would leave. i wanted her to quit her job from the beginning. i don't know what will happen. if she will quit or not.
in a way she acts like she is a teenage girl. i love her. i see this as a mid-life crisis. we have been together 20 years. so, i have done what i can do to protect myself from being hurt. more and more, i think about my life. but, i keep a hand out to her.
Your wife could be having a mid-life crisis but that's not reason to cheat. In fact, the very fact that she was returning to this man, meaning her cheating was continual is a pretty bad sign. That speaks negatively about her character. You know the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater" could be applicable to your wife. You're a kind man for forgiving her. She is very lucky to have you. You also need to look within to see if you're forgiveness toward her infidelity stems from inner insecurities such as: starting over, being alone, bein afraid of having wasted 20 years of your life, being able to find a committed relationship again, finding someone who is like the good aspects of your wife, etc. Only you will know the answer to this. I don't believe though that having her leave the job where the man was working was a good idea. IF she knew the first time that made a mistake she should have stopped it there. Even if the man would try to talk to her. I do hope that moving away from there will help remedy the situation but if she cheats again you may need to reconsider if you want to stay hurting in a relationship where you're continuously being hurt. We only have one life :)
So, even when I meet someone new, there will be things they have done before me that may not be so good. I accept I have known her for a long time, and if she can go, we should go.
She just got hooked on this guy. Because she is not from here, she is an immigrant, she has no one she can call or depend on other than me if she needs help. So, she is very reluctant to let me permanently go.
My plan is to get myself over this. And keep a door open, not forever. This new relationship is fast falling apart. The guy is a bottom feeder. She is running out of money.