Funny how those "day of the split" words haunt us. My ex telling me "I don't love you anymore" seems like yesterday and it was over 14 months. But it is what it is and really now I'm happier she's gone. No more dealing with her shit and getting comfortable being alone has been enlightening. She don't want to be here..adios. Better to give them the shove out the door when they drop that bombshell. She wanted to stay until "she saved enough money" but after 3 weeks of that nightmare I gave her the heave ho, best move I ever made.

yes...I remember every word said and every incident and engagement....while she was destroying my heart and soul

22 months later

"just happened" is a callous heartless statement
AND true, it reveals the core of the cheater in that they have the predisposition, they are calculating selfish people that deceive to get what they want,

Hi Murphy, Thanks I guess misery likes company.

Rehurb, thanks but I hate to agree because I don't want to look at him that way, and what does that make of our past and what does that make of me?

It's been over 18 mos and I still remember all the cruel things my husband said. He didn't stop with the "I don't love you" routine. He threw in that he just saw me "as a roommate", had "a crush on someone else" and he didn't want to ever have kids. Unfortunately his words are indelibly etched in my memory. You are a much better woman than. I do wish this sort of pain on somebody - him! I wish it on him a million times over.

jstcyn,
i understand the question, "what does it make our past?"
i ask myself that often still, 2.5 decades married + 2 dating + whatever this is now - - separated and two kiddos.
for me it makes it somewhat "boogered up", i see it as true & storey,
me being true and her crafting her storey
it sucks that she was acting

"what does it make me ?"
me - i am who i was, i was all in, honored my vows, don't have to hide what i did

her being a deceitful person didn't make me anything but heartbroken - - - hearts do heal, i'm on the mend with a ways to yet go


how will/should you answer your questions? i won't tell you beyond
... you kept your word therefore you can look yourself in the eye and that matters

Missy - I've been told by family and on here to knock him off his pedestal. I understand where you are coming from. But It isn't easy looking back after so many years and thinking poorly of the person you planned on being with until death. Each of us have suffered similar things but in different ways. Sorry for all your pain. Take care

I don't know what went wrong but I read a post from Refurb and now it is gone. What could I have done to remove it? I know that it was heart felt and brought tears to my eyes! I wanted to read it again.

Any suggestions?

I know you said it was buggered up and you tried and she was a storey! That you won't tell me how to answer my question but you/we can look our selves in the eye and know we didn't lie...sure wish I could find the post! Sorry. Thanks

sending well wishes. Cyn, wishing us all peace, and comfort this weekend, and the days to come.
it's awful, when a relationship suddenly ends, especially after so much shared, and the shocked and stunned disbelief. remember to take good care of yourself, eat well, and maybe even exercise too, if you feel up for it. remember, you deserve much better. we all do, and we'll all make it through the rough times.
DS is a comforting support.

I found part of Refurb's posts under his list of post but unable to read all of the post or figure out why I don't see them on my post here...weird...anyone else have this issue?

What I found of the post
Just happened" is a callous heartless statement AND true, it reveals the core of the cheater in that they have the predisposition, they are calculating selfish people that deceive to get wh..

stcyn, i understand the question, "what does it make our past?" i ask myself that often still, 2.5 decades married + 2 dating + whatever this is now - - separated and two kiddos. for me it ...

Hi Chris, wishing you well and hope for a decent weekend! If we could just fast forward our thoughts and feels past all this, it would be nice.

Thanks for you kind words

Take care

Well I was a little slow figuring out that in error I marked to ignore Refurb's post Mystery solved.

Affairs don't just happen. It's not like cheaters are walking home and suddenly their clothes are ripped off and they fall into someone else's genitals. It's just the bullshit they spew to make themselves feel better about what they've done. An affair is a deliberate series of choices. It's really not that complicated but cheaters like to make it seem like it is.

Just remember "If he's stupid enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go.

Have a great weekend
lemaym1.wordpress.com/

Neverceases Thanks -I like this "Just remember "If he's stupid enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go." He hasn't contact his son (20.9yrs) step-son (26yrs, stbx has been with him since he was 1.5 yrs. old) or me (beside for court) for the 2.5 months. That is hard to type and read. I just shake my head with heavy heart, with scared, lost and worried thoughts in my mind. I just can't (don't want to) wake up to the fact I am on my own! All day it's raining like crazy. He loves the stormy weather and I keep thinking about that...I wish I didn't care or think about him at all...

I know it takes time...but the time is miserable 90% of the TIME! aawwwarrrggghhh! Ok I will come off my soap box! F-it!

Take care all!