For those who know my story, this is a little update. I'm nowhere near healed but I'm moving forward. I'll share a few things that I've been doing that have been helping me cope. 15 weeks now since I found out of her affairs. I do not want to talk about her tonight, so I wont, just what I've been doing.

I have the keys to my apartment now. This is a big step for me. I've never lived alone so now I will have to learn. It can be real lonely sometimes but I'm learning how to occupy my time. I've joined my local YMCA. I've been going quite regularly for last 2 months. Exercise is good for the body, mind and soul. I do have to force myself to go sometimes, but I go. I've lost 48 pounds in 15 weeks. Feel like I got my old body back. I had a Dad bod before they were cool :)

I still do not have much of an appetite but I try to eat healthy.  I need my strength for the battle I will face soon when the divorce proceedings start. She Will Not Win...that's what I say to myself to give me strength. I do not want to give up. 

I have joined a divorce rebuilding group. It's based on the book Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends by Bruce Fisher. I recommend the book...it has helped me a lot. There may be groups in your area, check out online, there are groups in the USA and Canada. We meet once a week but are encouraged to meet ourselves once a week too. Its great to talk to others face to face with similar situations with no judgement. It really gives you an understanding on what you go through during a breakup and the tools you need to rebuild yourself before you move on to another relationship.

I was taken off work for a month. The stress of everything finally caught up to me. Lack of sleep, lawyers, kids, financials, pain, loneliness and work, all too much to handle. They put me on pills for anxiety. They did help me get the much need sleep I needed. I've have been feeling a little better so I have been off the pills for the last 3 days. 

I've been spending as much time as I can with my kids. At least they are a little older, they are 18 and 15. They are my greatest accomplishment. We talk, have fun. I do all I can to help get their minds off things, they are hurting too. They are great kids and I make sure they know that too.

I stepped outside of my comfort zone this week and joined a meet up group. I needed to meet new people and make new friends. Most of our friends were mutual and I lost them because of the split plus I moved away. So on Friday I went with strangers to play euchre. I was nervous at first but settled in once there. Just playing cards and everyday adult casual conversation. It was great to get out and do something and not talk about what has been going on. There will be more meet ups in my future. Bowling, card games, hiking, dinners and kayaking in the summer. This will be good for me. 

I tell you this for others who are just starting their process, everyone heals at their own pace. There is no timeline, everyone heals differently. 15 weeks and all I have done...I'm still nowhere near healed. The pain and betrayal is still there. Sleep still hard to come by but getting better. The grief is still there but I no longer cry or ache every night. Certain things can still trigger those emotions but less frequent. I'm doing everything I can to help me detach from her, in time I will get there. No contact has helped me the most. No need to talk. Let the lawyers do the work for now. 

It's about moving forward. Baby steps or big steps, everyone is different. There will be setbacks from time to time. Cry when you need to cry. Ask for a hug when you need a hug. Get the support you need from friends or family. Bottom line...we can all get through this, others have. So stay strong, stay focus and work on yourselves. Have hope. Healing will take its time. So tonight I tell you I'm better but not healed, tonight I'm just ok.   Ok is a big step for me. 

-HUGS EVERYONE-