Wow, I'm really sorry to hear this. It always still surprises me when I hear about mothers leaving their kids.

I would continue being there for him. Continue praising him when he soes well, being supportive, being his role model and rock. It will, probably, have an affect on him, but a lot of adults, unfortunately, have been abandoned by one of their parents. People become a victim of circumstances if they allow themselves to be, and it sounds like you are being the best, possible father you can to him.

If he hates her, let him. He is an individual with real feelingsand emotions. Just always be there to communicate with him, so he doesn't shut down.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like she is very toxic.

Hi there. I'm so sorry for not only you for especially for your son in all of this. Neither of you deserve this.

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Okay, I did this on Word and transferred it to here so it wouldn't post right away.

Hi, I read some of your journals and this has been a very difficult journey for you and your son. I, personally, believe her suicide was desperation, frustration and that she probably wanted out of this world. That she was brought back to life probably wasnt what she wanted. She appears to be a tortured soul, and I think she really wanted out from this world. Her exit was stopped.

I get a sense there is some mental health problems with her and that she has nothing in her life that she is involved in, so she is consumed with striking back at you and has put all her energies into that.

I dont think she really wants involvement with your son as she would have been sending cards, presents, nice letters, nice phone calls, etc. Its sort of easy to see the parents that really want involvement with their kids and like you said, shes not doing any of it.

One thing I do suggest is that everything she acts up, that you prosecute or do whatever is required. I believe if you dont and give her an inch, she will come back at you even more feeling you are getting weak. It shouldnt have to be that way and hopefully it will reach the point where your lawyer can go to the court and say she is a nuisance person and try to get her and all the nonsense stopped.

I thank you for everything you have done for your son and to give him a stable life. You are a terrific person and I want you to remember that you will come out on top of all this eventually. Many, many hugs to both of you.

Be there for him just like you are already. Especially in those momnets when he is mad at her. He needs to let that stuff out. With him I hope you are doing OK too! I am sorry to hear about this. I was the opposite and fatherless and it changed my life when I found out he was not my real dad which just made it worse. I dated a lot of guys and was very sexual. So watch for signs of female attention more than his buddies. If this is not the case than maybe he will be fine. I wish you the best to comeand that for your son as well

thankyou all for the input it really helps

thanks

I am 48 yrs old, and suffered abandonment issues with my father. He didn't necessarily "leave me on a doorstep", but married my step-mother and pretty much threw me aside. (It's a long story).

Anyway, this all happened when I was a teen, and it has affected my whole life, and all of my relationships thus far. My therapist happened upon this recently, and how it has never come up with previous therapists, I'll never know, but she said that "unresolved abandonment issues" MUST be addressed or they will follow you all your life.

He's probably not really wanting to think about this (at his age), but I really believe that he needs to talk about it in therapy. Believe me.....he does NOT want to have issues with women or trust his whole life.

I'm soooo glad he has you to lean on. It does blow my mind how some people can treat their own children.