Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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1Daatatime
1Daatatime

Well I made it through the weekend without txting my STBX. I'm moving from denial to anger. But I have to just stay calm and get to 1/14/2017. The date when the divorce will be final. I want her to hang onto her guilt since they why she's leaving me everything. It's nice of her but doesn't correct what she's done. I have signs of the date hanging above my computer and in the living room. I do this so I don't communicate anyting negative. Just want to get through the mechanics of this.


I'm thinking of sending her an "I hate your guts" email/txt on 1/14/17 but that's a long way off and may be beneath me. And the way my emotions roller coaster who know how I'll feel by then.


Giving thought to selling the farm and moving away but I have to keep to my pledge to do nothing for a year.


Thinking of teaching a college course. It would be a way to have human contact and would be mentally stimulating.

stardust7
stardust7
Sorry to hear this friend. Why not write all the hateful stuff to her on paper or a note on the computer but pledge to file it away to never send it so you're always free to add more to it as you go through this process. In a way I did that not wanting to lower myself to being that nasty to my ex. It sucks, really sucks but helps to think of yourself years later being able to say you did the right thing by not sending it. Hope that helps. Hang in there.
1Daatatime
1Daatatime
Thanks. I already started the letter. But why not send it when it's all over? I've never let her "have it with both barrels" and have been quite civil through this whole thing. Somehow I feel I should have the right to tell here what a B**** she is. My hope is that it gives me some relief.
ltwist
ltwist
You don't send it because you don't want to stoop to her level. You maintain your dignity. Karma takes care of the rest.
trisha9054
trisha9054
Journal it here and don't send it to her. If you still feel the same way after the divorce send it then. I'm betting you won't send it.

I never told the ex what I thought of him. The son he left in the Philippines, the Chinese woman he married. I left a lot of that on here in journals because we have a daughter together. What's done is done and angry words won't erase the hurt they have caused. Only time will erase those hurts. Time and me being able to finally get this farm deeded over to me.

Take that letter and file it away; set a time to go back and read it then decide to send it or not.
1Daatatime
1Daatatime
Your right about maintaining my dignity. I never planned on sending it until the divorce is final and she has already admitted to everything negative in my letter (she brought it up not me). She has beat herself up over this but isn't guilty enough to stop. I'll hang on to the letter and I bet your right I won't send it.
Sequitur328
Sequitur328
It sounds like your ex has hurt you very badly. I have been hurt very badly, by others, in my life before as well. I believe the healthiest thing you could do is forgive your ex. I realize forgives may not be a popular answer to the pain you are feeling but it is the answer which provides the most release.