I should be embarrassed about everywhere I have cried, or everyone I have cried to. But I'm not.

Friends, strangers, the cute old man in my grocery store, my daughter's teachers, neighbors....should I keep going or does that help you enough?

This frickin hurts....and those of us who are serious criers...what can we do?

Oh yeah, when the emotions are flowing, it's hard not to cry because it's all so recent. It's almost like reliving it all over again.

In time, it will become simply a statement of fact: THESE things happened to you in the PAST. And there will be almost a detachment ("Did I really go through all that and survive? Kick ass!").

It takes time.

Journaling helps take some of the sting off...

I'm NOT a serious crier, until 6 weeks ago when my husband left. Now, I cry at the drop of a hat anywhere and everywhere. I cry in the car, I cry at Jazzercize, I cry at night when I put my child to bed (this is an every night occurrence and isn't getting any better), I cry at church, I cry, I cry, I cry.
That's why I like to come here and read what other people are doing to stay sane through all of this. Good Luck!

I walked around Walmart listening to Christmas music bawling my eyes out...It will pass...really....

It happened to me. I would started to cry while talking to his ex-coworker who was thinking of taking over the car payments (and who I only met twice! The horror!), I cried when I talked to the people from Cingular (who were more than happy to help me cancel his and his family's line). And I cried to every single one in my family and to every single one of my friends. It is normal I think and after a while the tears just stopped coming...

i dont cry when i tell ppl, but i've told the whole world..anyone that will listen
dont be ashamed of crying..its all part of the rollercoaster

When it first happened I found it very hard to talk to someone about it that I had not seen in a while. If I was breaking the news to them I would get a huge lump in my throat. It does get better you just have to give it some time.

It gets better with time, really it does. I moved 1000 miles away following a nervous breakdown (due to my ex cheating on me with MEN YUCK). Anyway I had to find a new eye specialist and during my initial appointment the nurse said "what brings you to Colorado?". I just burst out crying and eventually told her, she was so nice, gave me tissues and a cup of water. The doctor came in and the first words out of his mouth were "So, what bring you to Colorado?". The nurse elbowed him so hard I though he was going to suffer a permanent injury.

Don't worry about the crying, it tapers off in time and most people are very understanding.

Thanks guys! It's so uncomfortable for the person your talking to. They just don't know what to say. If it wasn't for my lil girl. I would rent a billboard and just tell the whole town that way it's over and done with.

For awhile I didn't really talk about it because I was so ashamed. I felt like a complete failure. I heard somewhere that it helps to talk about it so I started telling people. Yeah, it might come off as overshare to some but the shock of the story started to wane. Now I can laugh about it, believe it or not. People probably think I'm insane but I'd rather be laughing than crying!

I have always been the rock of the family - but when this hit me, I cried and cried and cried.... my family did not know what to do with me! Now, I am mostly laughing - but I do have my days (around the same time of each month...)

Oh yes, in the beginning it was hard to even begin to say the words without tears.

Trying to tell my very nice realtor that I was no longer selling my house, and then she asked WHY. Oh my, it's a surprise she even understood what I was SAYING!

Ditto on what Pasta said - it becomes a statement of fact when times passes, and when people look at you in shock, you realize that YOU survived it, YOU trimuphed - YOU did it. It will happen.

I dont talk about other than here. I made th mistake of telling my sister about th night he tried pulling a fist in my face. I didnt cry that time, but she did. Then I felt really bad.

We all need to get it out..all of the garbage we have been through and all of the emotions involved. Its part of the healing process so vent away. Eventually there will be no more tears left...it takes time,lots of time. Be gentle with yourself.

I couldn't hold a conversation with anyone both of us knew (ie everyone) without the tears coming out.

I found that pretending I'm talking about how I folded my laundry last night, made me able explain what happened and to not start crying halfway through.

Pretty much just tricking myself into talking about it in short straight declarations making a concious effort to avoid emotion/blame laden words.

Surprisingly enough after doing that a couple times, it made a difference.

But the process of getting through it without expressing blame was really really hard, especially since a lot of friends n family seem to think that encouraging you to blame the stbx will make you feel better. But really as soon as you start talking about the blame, you get angry, frustrated and then the tears come.

(Im not saying not to blame the stbx or anything, just that venting the blame makes all those feelings float right to the top)

Anyway, it made a world of difference to me but I had to practice it a couple times first. I actually recorded it and transcribed it and went through and crossed out all the phrases that made me angry. (turns out there were even more than I thought I had said)

if it helps, being a man, i rarely cried before the stbx left. that first month i cried all day, all nite, every day, every nite. didn't where = work, church, home, car, on the commode... the first day i didn't cry, my buddy said "welcome back to manhood". i still have my crying spells but less and less frequent and shorter in duration. still sux but not as much. i'm starting to see sunshine in the distance somewhere, somehow. you will too! talk to you more later.