Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm having a very hard time. I have never told anyone this but my doctor. But my first ever bf and sexual partner gave me hsv. (Herpes simplex virus) We were together for five years, claims he didn't know he had it. I found out on my own one day. He's now moved on and engaged (don't think he told his fiancé either) I think about telling someone new everyday. and it makes me break down and cry. Makes me anxious. I don't eat, I don't sleep. I don't want him back at all, I want my life back and feel as though nobody will ever want me because of my condition. It may sound silly but I just need someone to tell me what I have doesn't define me and I will find love again. I don't even know how to go about telling someone new. One sexual partner and now I have to deal with this for life. I just need some advice.
You are absolutely fine! I had a girlfriend who was just like you, she had HSV, in fact from the very first time she had sex as a one-off. When we started dating, during the first intense kissing session that seemed to be leading to something else, she suddenly stopped me and told me about it. I was about 19 or 20 at the time and, immature as I was, I initially rejected her and told her I was happy to go on with the kissing and touching but didn't want to have sex with her... guess what... I just really liked the girl so got over that within minutes. We got good condoms, were always careful about it, and damn was the sex good, it was freaking awesome!!! =D No, really, the sex was incredibly good and I didn't think about it at all other than at the very beginning and very end when putting on or removing the condom!
You'll be fine, really, just do what she did: be upfront about it, and if the guy is an idiot (as I was during the first few minutes when she told me), then good riddance and you find out before you even have sex with him! It can actually become a good filter =)
By the way, that girl and I just weren't meant to be. We went out for a few months and then parted in the best of terms, remaining friends to this day. She had a couple long-term relationships after that, and she's now very happily married and facebook tells me she's just had a gorgeous baby boy =)