I don't know what to tell you about this. I am just hoping that you are doing okay and are able to heal and get on with your life.

Sending you ((((HUGS)))))

I am going through the same thing now - left my husband with my 2 kids in July. Knew I would be out for a least a year (lease), but I now know I'm never going back. Most of our family knows, but only a few people I work with. I just decided not to say anything. I took my wedding rings off, so when people notice they'll put 2 and 2 together. I also feel it's none of their business. Still haven't even told my employer about my address change. I'm embarrassed, but I don't know why. My therapist told me I shouldn't live a lie, but I don't feel like I'm lying, just not providing information to people that really don't need to know as it's none of their business. I'm a very private person, and I don't want my personal life to be office fodder. But I imagine word is getting around by now. Close friends and family need to know, but the rest, let them find out through the grapevine.

...you tell them when you get good and ready. And if you NEVER tell them, so what?? Don't put unnecesary pressure on yourself. Do it when you feel up to it, and not a moment before. I think when you can do it from a place of peace, then that's the time to do it. In the end, your life is YOUR business...and you always reserve the right to keep it to yourself. Take heart.

tell people when you are ready, if you don't feel they need to know, then they don't. I told immediate family first, and then from those who are closest to me. Mostly I just waited to tell people, when I ran into them (whether on the phone, email, or in person), they might ask me how I'm doing, how are the kids doing, and which then lead to the conversation of my divorce. I haven't told anyone at work, I got divorced before I started my job, though some of those people I used to work with (had a close relationship with). but I still haven't felt the need to tell them. Not even my boss (who I used to work with). Just one close co-worker, and that is it. I have been divorced since Thanksgiving last year. Tell who you want, when you are ready. And if you don't, don't sweat it. Like a pervious poster mentioned, when you encounter them in person, they will probably figure it out when they see you don't wear a ring.

Sorry you are going through this (((hugs)))

FWIW, most people have not asked me the detail. When they find out, they usually get kind of quiet, and say they are sorry (not knowing what else to say). Just my close family, and a couple close friends know what happened in the divorce.

Thank you for all of your supportive messages. I think I will take your advice and let go of this pressure to let people know. I think part of the reason that I feel so bothered right now is all of the Christmas cards coming in addressed to both of us. I appreciate that all of you understand my need for privacy and the reluctance to tell people who are not my closest friends and family. Hugs to all of you!

I orignially only told those that NEEDED to know. My mother, a few friends and that's it. We have been separated a year now and just last week I ran into someone who didn't know and I told them when they asked me how he was.

I have found that people will find out when they need to know. My husband and I were married for 16 years so that's pretty much most of my life. there are people I don't see everyday that still don't know.

I have not put an announcement or anything out. I figure people will just find out as I run into or encounter them. The really close friends and family knew immediately. Others' including my job, find out as they ask basically. But I don't bring it up or talk about it.

U will know when its time to tell. The first time he did it I did not want a soul to know. This is time #4 and I could give a rats ass who knows. And I understand about the financial part of it as well.
Do what your heart feels...
Angie

I don't think it is the type of thing that one has to go out an announce to people. My ex and I parted ways in July 2010 and our divorce was made final this July after 29 years of marriage.
I just let my immediate family know but let the others find out as and when it just came about naturally in conversation or some thing. Some people are still only finding out nowdays, if and when they happen to ask after my ex, and I just gently say we are no longer married and I don't see him much at all so I really don't know.
They feel all awkward and embarrassed that they didn't know, and I just reassure them that it is fine, it is not the kind of thing I have broadcast from the roof tops so it is perfectly understandable that they might not have heard. That diffuses the whole thing and there isn't necessarily need to make a big deal of announcing it in anyway. Also last year, the few Christmas cards I sent out I just signed from me and the kids, so that gave those people the hint that something had happened, if they did not already know.
I wouldn't stress over it, just let it happen as and when it does.

I would think word would spread sooner or later to people that you really care about knowing,if you get someone who gets too nosy with the whys...do your best to nicely tell them ...if that doesnt work,dont hesitate to tell them to go "fuck themselves"...