Today I receive a dozen roses and card "happy anniversary". I told him this was the day. I suggested dinner "maybe". What am I thinking? Several breakups, then a date Sunday to communicate, get closure on the last unspoken breakup that lasted a month, though emotionally we started to re-bond after he just showed up unannounced on Thanksgiving and I got caught back up in his world. Ok the guy is not 100% bad, I mean who is? The point I am trying to get to is what am I going to do tonight and aren't I tired enough of this DRAMA? What kind of anniversary is this where the situation is where we are not even boy-girlfriend anymore because we can't handle it, I'm not willing, even if he says he's willing I know he'll end it again like he has 5 times. Oh God. Tearing apart, not breaking apart. Closing the door inch by inch and what is left but repairing the damaged and no good and hanging onto memories and false hope and "love". I don't want to be in this situation. I know no one is perfect. Why am I so willing to be in this situation?
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