Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I was just made aware my ex is showing my 16 yr old son some e-mails I sent. I have never shown my son the nasty e-mails he sends me, I've shown my boyfriend and BFF, but didn't want to involve my son.
My boyfriend and BFF see my e-mails, and they are never nasty, but my last one came close.
It dealt with the fact my ex charged me with 1/2 the insurance for his car (he drives another vehicle supplied by his company), but I still had to pay insurance to drive my car on my own. My son borrowed my car, which I don't mind, but then things turn into a sleep over, and I didn't see my car until the next afternoon.
I think I was just more fed up with the nasty e-mails, money he's asked for and just 2 yrs of crap.
My son confronted me about my e-mail, I was shocked. I don't think he's read his father's e-mails, I usually delete them once they are read beccause I don't want my son to see them.
My boyfriend and I talked about it, and he said I need to expose my ex, it's something I never wanted to do, but with my ex feeding my son with his agenda, I'm feeling I need to do something.
Any hints?
My boyfriend and BFF see my e-mails, and they are never nasty, but my last one came close.
It dealt with the fact my ex charged me with 1/2 the insurance for his car (he drives another vehicle supplied by his company), but I still had to pay insurance to drive my car on my own. My son borrowed my car, which I don't mind, but then things turn into a sleep over, and I didn't see my car until the next afternoon.
I think I was just more fed up with the nasty e-mails, money he's asked for and just 2 yrs of crap.
My son confronted me about my e-mail, I was shocked. I don't think he's read his father's e-mails, I usually delete them once they are read beccause I don't want my son to see them.
My boyfriend and I talked about it, and he said I need to expose my ex, it's something I never wanted to do, but with my ex feeding my son with his agenda, I'm feeling I need to do something.
Any hints?
Be an adult and write better and polite emails. Then when he shows it to his son.... The kid will be like... Mommy really cares.
Tell your ex that this is inappropiate and it needs to stop as it will cause allienation of your son. This is just a thought cuz I don't know if you have already tried this approach.
I'm afraid that if you show your son your ex's e-mails, it may backfire and make things worse.
My ex hasn't spoken to me in 6 yrs, and we've only been divorced for 2. E-mails are the only communication, and his are always harshly worded. My boyfriend says I'm always too nice, I give into his money demands, never did anything about him stopping child support, paying my daughters tuition even though she wants nothing to do with me, and just other strange requests.
I just kept hoping that my son would see me in a better place after the divorce, which I am, I just didn't realize my ex would feed him with lies.
1) Tell your son there are things going on of which he is unaware -- and should not be a part of -- and that is was inappropriate for your ex to involve him. . . and then apologize if you have involved him as well, and assure him it won't happen again. (And don't ever allow him to hear or see you sharing with your best friend or boyfriend.)
2) Assure him it is in his best interest to be kept out of the fray, and that if his father attempts to bring him into it again, to politely decline and remove himself to another room, activity, or whatever. Encourage him to repeat this statement "I do not want to get involved" every time your ex tries again, until that time he stops with the childish behavior (the ex, that is).
3) Be mindful of what you're emailing, and save the ones coming from your ex in case you need them down the road.
4) Consider the possibility that your boyfriend may not want to be involved either. I got tired of hearing about the 'ex', and I'm thinking he may tire of it as well.
Good luck!
Go in peace and know that you teen will figure out what a jerk his Dad is being.
brilliant
I decided not to say anything to my son, and I appreciate your comments.