Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Just venting a little here and confessing something, so feel free to judge and shoot me down!
It's been just over 2 months since I accidentally found out my partner of over 5 years was cheating on me. I haven't seen her since then, we are conveniently separated by an Ocean. Which has actually made things even more frustrating.
Of course, the entire rusty rollercoaster of negative emotions has been my daily mode of transport. Recently though, despite still loving this woman very much, the thought of the possibility of getting revenge for what she has done has begun to creep into my head. I could, in theory, pretty much ruin her career if I were to use what I have on her. Now, I am absolutely shocked at myself that I would even allow the thought of this to cross my mind. I can only explain it as a kind of defense mechanism, my brain telling me that I could do this as a way to counter how flattened I am by this break-up and the way it has destroyed me.
Have any of you experienced something similar? Or even acted on it?
It's been just over 2 months since I accidentally found out my partner of over 5 years was cheating on me. I haven't seen her since then, we are conveniently separated by an Ocean. Which has actually made things even more frustrating.
Of course, the entire rusty rollercoaster of negative emotions has been my daily mode of transport. Recently though, despite still loving this woman very much, the thought of the possibility of getting revenge for what she has done has begun to creep into my head. I could, in theory, pretty much ruin her career if I were to use what I have on her. Now, I am absolutely shocked at myself that I would even allow the thought of this to cross my mind. I can only explain it as a kind of defense mechanism, my brain telling me that I could do this as a way to counter how flattened I am by this break-up and the way it has destroyed me.
Have any of you experienced something similar? Or even acted on it?
Acting on it is another thing altogether.
It's what separates dignified people from those that are less than dignified.
Moral high ground aside......., ruining her career will not make you feel better anyway.
Time will make you feel better. After you have accepted and processed this event.
be your best friend. find your high road. it is a lot easier.
felt it. i think all do. you were hurt hard and bad and deep.
but that is not the way to go.
hit the high road and stay there. always take the high road. sometimes........most times, harder but in the long run, alot better
I also believe that what goes around comes around and your partner will experience that on her own.
Also, I always remember "Looking good is the best revenge." And by looking good, I mean not only physically, but mentally and emotionally happy.
I was so happy when I got divorced that it killed my ex husband. Truly got him back for so much.
Good luck :)
Essentially my ex got Karma served to him on a plate. I was SO proud of my son and how both of my children supported their father through the situation. My kids are closer to me because of it all.
Fantastic! I will be putting this quote up at my house. Just as a reminder!
If someone cheated on me, I think I would just want to start over and any ties be cut so I would not have to think of her/him any more. I would want to start moving forward with my life.
I am puzzled as to why being separated by an ocean is frustrating to you--unless you want to continue contact with this person. This may explain the ruining her career revenge thing. You want to continue things with her. good things or bad things???? I think as time goes by, at least for me, I usually end up doing what makes me sleep good at night.
You do what you feel you need to do.
I would think long and hard before I tried to ruin someone elses career because I would know in the future it would come back and bite me.