Sucks man. I have been through similar pain, some ideas or realizations I had I don't care to write out.

She is moving on way to fast, that will hit her later on.

Focus on you as best you can, yes there is a ton of shit and noise happening, the screens are changing, you're in the trenches in a war zone...but you are you, you're here and alive.

Turn this thing around from her to you. What are you going to do? Play with your son, Do stuff for yourself, start thinking about recovering from all that agony and hell so when the smoke clears you stand secure secure and with a smile.

She's consistently behaved in a thoughtless and selfish manner over the past few weeks. She probably does expect you to keep making her dinner. In order to avoid confusion next Tuesday, I would be explicit and tell her that there's a new plan in place. You've been living with the consequences of her actions for quite a while. It's time she does the same.

From her past behavior and mind games, I'd say one of two things is happening, if not a little of both:

Either:
1) yes, she DOES expect you will still be cooking dinner for her
2) she's finding an excuse to make contact, since you've not been reaching out to her. it's perfect for her, she expects that you will start a dialogue about "didn't you know I'm picking him up, it's my night?" so then she can get all fake-indignant and say "i was just making sure he was picked up, why are you being defensive/accusatory, etc"

I would just leave it alone. If she does start acting like she's coming to dinner, then politely let her know that this will no longer be the case. Otherwise, I'd say with HER, it's best not to start any conversations, that's what she wants is to spark up more fights like you were having the past 2 weeks. Controlling people such as your ex get so upset when we stop playing the game, and they try to spark it up again. Don't feed into it.

As far as the "not getting angry yet," I will likely come in time. Divorce causes us to enter into the classic stages of grief, which are:
denial
anger
bargaining
depression
acceptance
we can go through them in any order, and often cycle through a few of them more than once. it's pretty easy to see other's go through them if you read posts or journals from some of us who've been here awhile. I know I certainly went through them all and am mostly at acceptance, although depression and anger certainly crop up from time to time still.
Stay strong, try not to engage with her, it does get easier in time.
(((HUGS)))

@happymama2j, that makes sense.

Anyway, I texted her back "I already did" and she replied "thx." I did not reply after that, but she called me a couple hours later to be sure I knew my son wasn't getting hot lunch because she missed the deadline to sign up and pay last week. I told her my son had told me that and he was all set. Then she said she just wanted to be sure I knew, and she started telling me about her issue with her client. I listened for a minute than said, again, that my son was all set and said goodbye.

Later last night she texted me "Nite. Love you." I did break at that point and did text back "G'nite. Love you too." So, I'm almost there, but still slipping a little.

Thank's for the information on the stages as well. I went through denial, then depression, then jumped to bargaining where I stayed stuck for about a year - always at her beck and call for anything at all. To your point if I did lower contact, she did always reel me in again. That's not to say I wasn't a willing participant as I was and wanted her back.

I'm no longer bargaining, but fighting depression - no sleep, numb, etc. I have to think about anger - why it won't come. I think bad things happened to me as a child if I ever got angry or spoke up for myself, and I think my Ex reinforced that especially at the end of the marriage and throughout the reconciliation attempts. I got the message, it is not okay to voice your needs or get angry.

I hope acceptance will come soon.

Everyone here has been immensely helpful through this ordeal, and I'm grateful to you all.

Sounds good except the "I love yous" and goodnight texts. That's just for her benefit and eases her guilt. Ignore that shit.

Holy Shit! You are doing great with the boundaries, but the only one you need to really work on is the good night, I love you texts. You have a couple choices there:
1) Ignore her text-do not respond. It just feeds her. This is probably your best choice, btw.
2) Ask her to stop texting you that-this will probably cause a fight because she would defend herself and turn it around on you

or-and this one is my favorite

3) Tell her to fuck off-this is not a good option, but I would actually probably do it if I was you because she has been a total psycho.

Keep up the good work and try and work on the goodnight stuff. We all have things we need to work on in the breakup process, so don't feel bad about it. It takes time, but you really need to be proud of yourself!