Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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mamacoxx4 02/17/2013

So my STBX was granted supervised visitation..I have 4 girls..but only 3 are minors and will go..my girls haven't seen him since Aug..only my 8 year old wants to go..my other 2.. 9 and 11 have informed me that they will refuse to go see him. I told them I have to bring them..but they said they will tell whoever they have to that they will not go in the room to see him..my question..what will happen? I have tried to encourage them saying they will be safe, and why not at least give it a try..but they want no part of it..will they be physically made to go in the room with him?? I'm getting nervous..thanks

ChiTownBear 02/17/2013

if they feel that strongly, you have to at least let them know they are heard. Possibly a meeting with you, your ex (and possibly a mediator), about the situation would be in order.

deleted_user 02/18/2013

I would contact whomever is in charge of this supervised visitation and let them know how your children are feeling. Let them know you will bring per the order but they will likely refuse to go in. It is possible once they get there they may change their minds? They may decide to give it a shot and see him. I am not sure if they will force them to go in if they do not want to.

deleted_user 02/18/2013

Actually, during the divorce, my ex had supervised visitation and it would be at the court, with the one special division of the court. But my ex never arranged for visitation and it was clear he never wanted visitation.

If it were me, and my child/children did not want to visit, I would take them to the supervised visitation and let them make it known to the person who was 'supervising" so that person can then pass it on to the court or the person assigned by the court to monitor the case.

mamacoxx4 02/18/2013

Thanks again...I don't know what I would do without the support found here..

deleted_user 02/18/2013

I believe all you have to do is make them available. I don't think they can be forced to visit. You are fulfilling your obligation as long as you aren't alienating him or refusing to comply with visitation. You didn't say why he has supervised visitation, but if he's done some bad things to the girls, perhaps 1 or 2 of these episodes will be enough for him to drop visitation requests.

mamacoxx4 02/18/2013

cheryt..he has supervised visitation because of domestic abuse both with me and my girls. They just told me today when I took them out to lunch that they would rather go to jail than see him:(

ChiTownBear 02/18/2013

cant really blame them if he has abused them.

hurtinandhealin2560 02/19/2013

You at least have to bring them so you are in compliance and can't be accused of alienating the children. Once there, they can make their wishes known.

I'm sorry you and your children have to go through this.

Sending hugs of support.

deleted_user 02/19/2013

Hopefully after a few times of showing up and the girls not wanting to see him, he will give it up. Ugh!

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