Hey everyone!
I just joined Daily Strength today. The main reason I joined is because I have been out of a relationship for almost six months now and I cannot get over my exboyfriend. I will tell you all my story...
During my childhood, I moved around a lot and eventually I ended up in California. Although I dated a lot of guys, I was never intimate with any of them. And then I met my exboyfriend Greg.
I met Greg on Eharmony. I thought he was cute, and then I met him in person. Even though he was cute, he had a funny voice, bad breath and was a bad kisser. He was also short. He was an engineer, and extremely boring. Initially, he was so boring that I wanted to stop dating him but was convinced by my family and friends that he was a genuinely good guy. I decided to stop being so shallow and picky and give him a chance.
Greg was the first guy that was really into me. Eventually, he took breath mints and he and I found a rhythm so the kissing became amazing. For the first six months, he was crazy about me. He would show up with flowers everytime he saw me, and surprise me with gifts. He was romantic, loving, passionate and didn't mind that I was a virgin. He texted me every day, always wanted to see me and be with me. He always called me when he said he would. He told me he wasn't going anywhere, and he was always there for me when I needed him. He became my best friend in the whole world.
Eventually, things turned ugly. I went through a depression and told Greg that I had been miserable since he and I started dating. The next day, I tried to take it back but Greg gradually pulled away. I got angry at him because I knew he was pulling away, so he and I started fighting a lot. I was so sad that I was a terrible person to be around. Before I met Greg, I had a been a very, happy go lucky person.
Greg and I waited for six months to have sex. When he and I did, it was wonderful but it didn't happen again for another few months. Part of the reason I was unhappy was because my boyfriend and I were not having sex. Eventually, it happened again but only after he and I got into a huge fight. That was the last night I saw him. He and I had sex, and the next day I realized I had to take a break from him. I always thought he and I would get back together because he and I loved each other very much.
I called Greg, and he and I both agreed to take some time apart. He and I kept saying "I love you" over and over again before eventually I let him go. That night, I texted him that I missed him already but he said that we should take some time to figure ourselves out. He and I emailed each other a lot during that time. That week, a lot of good things happened to me. But my heart still missed my boyfriend. So, the following week, I called him and told him that I missed him and few things I loved about him.
He sent me an email that broke my heart. He told me that he had to think about himself and couldn't be in a relationship right now. I was devastated. I wrote him a very angry e-mail because I was so shocked and hurt by what he wrote. He and I started fighting again, and then he started ignoring me. I didn't contact him for a while. Eventually I did, and hoped that we could be friends. But as soon as I heard his voice, I knew that I still loved him and couldn't be friends with him. After that conversation, he completely cut me out of his life. Once every few weeks, I would text him, send him a message on Facebook or email or call him. I spent my whole summer in a major depression. I missed my ex boyfriend, and couldn't move forward with my life. I dated other guys, went to yoga every day, spent time with friends. Did everything I could thing of to possibly get over him and I couldn't.
A month ago, after not speaking to him for at least a month, I decided to contact him. I sent him a text that asked if he and I could try again. When he didn't respond, I called him and asked him if he and I could go hiking this weekend and talk. He texted me the following day and said that he didn't feel the same way. I was so hurt that he cut me out of his life that I told him that he should at least treat me like a human being, especially after he took my virginity. He texted me back and said that all I did during our relationship was treat him badly and take my anger out on him, and he said that was why he wasn't talking to me anymore. I called him and he picked up. Greg and I talked, and he told me that he never wanted to be with me again. I told him I loved unconditionally :(
That happened over a month ago. I am still devastated by this, and i don't know how to get over it. I realize I'm not perfect, but I have never been treated so badly by a guy before. How can I move on?