Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
There's always something, isnt there? My oldest is 12. This weekend a boy was inappropriate with her, placing his body parts against hers in a front to back kind of way. She was, understandably upset. On Tuesday, the first time I saw him, I told him to keep his hands and body parts away from her.
This afternoon, after counseling, I get a lecture in the car about how she's going to be a snitch now, and that no one has her back. I'm so tired of feeling badly, and I know this was the right thing to do, but with everything going on with the stbx and his sister from the weekend before, I'm just so worn out.
I know someday, she'll understand, but for right now, life sucks. I'm looking forward to Monday when I'll see a doctor about antidepressants.
This afternoon, after counseling, I get a lecture in the car about how she's going to be a snitch now, and that no one has her back. I'm so tired of feeling badly, and I know this was the right thing to do, but with everything going on with the stbx and his sister from the weekend before, I'm just so worn out.
I know someday, she'll understand, but for right now, life sucks. I'm looking forward to Monday when I'll see a doctor about antidepressants.
Have a few drinks to help get you by until Monday.
My daughter had some issues with these things at school and I let her try and handle it on her own with my guidance. She actually did very well.
Many Many times we have to do things our kids don't understand but what is best for them. The only thing you should add is to ALWAYS tell your daughter what you will do before you do it. Let her be a part of your decisions or at least know beforehand. It helps avoid problems, opens up a line of communication and also allows them to have a say in the matter. If you can't see eye to eye then you just say: "I am your mother and I need to protect you. I will do THIS and I am sorry if you can't understand how much I love you and I am doing this to protect you not to hurt you."
Sometimes our kids won't understand but most times they will and appreciate us more for our actions and decisions.
Since my daughter was 4 years old I have always done this and always used words she could understand and hugged her when I spoke to her and let her have an active role in our decisions. When the time came for me to decide for both of us she would trust me enough to accept my authority. And once when it backfired I DID apologize to my 7 year old daughter and told her that I had made a mistake but I did it out of love and never meant to hurt her. SHE ACTUALLY HUGGED ME AND SAID "I just want you to be happy" I cried that night and thanked God for giving me such a blessing in my life.
You have to be a great parent and by the looks of it you already are. Don't second guess yourself in any way shape or form. Be strong in your decisions and be strong. An iron fist with a silk glove. Love them to death and protect them from everyone and even from themselves if necessary.
Like I said in an older post when you mentioned what their aunt yelled at them as you left: Keep them away from danger. If that woman is capable of saying such nasty things in front of you imagine what she would say when you are not there.
You are doing great and made the right decision. Good Job and keep up the great parenting.
Thanks for sharing. My daughter is just entering her "tweens" so I'm sure I'll have moments like this myself where I wonder what I'm supposed to do.