Don't give up. All this is proving is that he does not deserve you. He will surely reap what he sows. Find some support, whether friends and family, a church group, or a counselor. I highly recommend the latter from my own experience. Feel free to share feeling here among those who have endured similar difficulties. You are not alone. You are in my prayers.

I know this is hard, really hard to believe, but you will find happiness again. Think about what you've read on other posts--spouses cheating for years, children having a parent who abandons them with their affair partner, despair, loss, anger, on and on. There is not one of us who would ask to be in this club. Not. One. Your pain will make you stronger and more leery for a time, too. I wish I could tell you that it will be "easy"--it won't. But you will move forward. You will, a little every day, hurt less. In time, and only you get to decide when, you may meet someone who treasures you, who cherishes you, who tells you that you're the a la mode to his apple pie. This person will see you for who you are and allow you to be you. In the meantime, take a breath, a yoga class, a retreat through a faith community, whatever, and invest in YOU. You have our support and our "ears". Lean on this community bc we all get it.

I am sorry to read about your situation. I have read posts like the one you initially describe, in the Healthy Relationships Support board, where the suggestion of infidelity is mocked by arrogant posters. Infidelity is rampant in our society because of it's ease of procurement via numerous digital devices and channels.

When someone you know well, starts acting differently over a short period of time, it's not you, it's them. When they say it's you, that's confirmation that they're up to something and trying to deflect it. The biggest mistake we make, as human beings, is to doubt ourselves when our gut is trying to tell us something. We do this for a number of reasons but fear is at the forefront.

You knew instinctively when you saw this woman that she was a threat to your security, and that is something that every person needs to pay full attention to when presented with such. Under no circumstances should we ever allow someone like this to enter our circle. That being said, it's human nature to want to be trusting, because trusting someone we love is how we emote love.

You did nothing wrong except to love and trust, and he disrespected you and everything you stand for. Being abandoned is a very difficult situation to lift oneself from, and usually it's because you feel that something is wrong with you for him to have abandoned you, yet nothing could be further from the truth.

He's not the person you thought you married. I think you got off lucky that you didn't spend more time with him and mothered a child from him. The universe made this happen now instead of three years down the road, so that you can be free of him and find someone who wants the same things as you.

Take this time to be gentle to yourself. You did nothing wrong, but you have wounds that need healing. Distract yourself with small things you enjoy doing. Visit with family and friends, even if you don't feel like it, they have a way of making us feel better. Don't spend any time thinking about why he'd do it because people like him aren't worth trying to figure out, as there is no rhyme or reason to their madness.

Wishing you well.