Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It's been nearly 2 weeks since I asked my husband to move out. He said he'd be out at the end of the month. I still cry nearly every day. I'm still torn. Am I really ready for this to be over? I feel myself longing for him to wrap his arms around me. Instead, I cry whenever I'm in the same room. We're civil to one another, but don't exchange more than a few words. I want to talk to him, but don't want to start another argument. I just wander around the house like a zombie. My temper is short with my kids. I feel so drained.
We've been married not quite 7 years. We have 3 children 16 (female) , 11, (male) & 6 (male). My older two are from a previous relationships, & really don't care for him, esp the 16yr old. My 11yr old has had a decent relationship with him, but he is also the only father figure he's known, as his biological father has never been in the picture. He is becoming a teenager though, so he's starting to become more distant with my husband. The 6yr old is ours together, has a genetic disorder, & is non-verbal. My husband rarely goes to any of our youngest sons numerous appointments, or school meetings. He doesn't help him with his homework, or make sure he's brushed his teeth. He doesn't think speech therapy is necessary or that it's helping our son, so he won't take him to appointments. I have exhausted all of my PTO, so I haven't been able to take him consistently. My husband works nights, sleeps on the couch all day, & when he's awake plays x-box or dominates the TV. He doesn't go with me or the family to do anything, unless it's to the lake, & even then he goes off by himself to fish. Yet, he tells me I'm selfish, & that I never include him in anything. We recently got a couple of dogs, & I swear he treats them better than me or our son. He pays more attention to them, so much so, that the 6yr old has started acting like a dog. My husband is so angry all the time. He is always griping about something. If I ask whats wrong, he just snaps. If I try to approach him about something, to tell him about how I feel, he snaps at me. He always has to have the last word, & he is always right. He's a lot like his father, which he hates hearing, because he can't stand him. He has a bit of an old fashioned sense, as in men do outside work, & are the bread winners, while women do all the house work, & take care of the children. I am the bread winner in my household. I know that bothers him. I take care of pretty much all the bills. We have separate bank accounts, he gives me very little money each month, which helps us survive til the next month. I feel like there is no taking to him. He won't go to counseling. Despite all that, for some reason, I just can't seem to let go. He's not the man I fell in love with & married. Up until our fight a couple of weeks ago, we were still having sex. He's never hit me or my kids. He hasn't had an affair (that I'm aware of). If it was something like that, I think it would be easier for me to call it quits. The fact that there is simply no longer any interest is a harder concept for me to wrap my head around.
Okay, I know I rambled a bit, but I think that pretty much sums it up.
You want with professional guidance. Sometimes
We are not sure whats really going on because we
are so emotionally involved and impacted and can't
think straight. HUGS
I have no idea! If I weren't married to him, it would've been over long ago. For me, I think it has something to do with the marriage vows. For better or worse. I used to be a better wife. I would do anything & everything for him, like laundry. Then I got tired, so I'd scale back a little bit. I would still do his laundry, but asked him to put his own clothes away. He couldn't even do that. I started putting them into a box, because I was tired of seeing them all over the place. He'd gripe because something wasn't washed, or he couldn't find something. I told him to start doing it himself. I used to make all his Dr. appts, refill his Rx. I got so tired of it, I'm like I have 3 kids, you are a grown ass man, do it yourself. If he comes to me complaining about an ailment, I tell him, unless you are gonna go to the Dr for it, then I don't want to hear about it.
Damn! I wish you lived close to me, we should go out for drinks, vent, & cry together! Just hang in there. I should heed my own advice. But like most things, it's a lot easier said than done. I feel like I am in limbo, just waiting for things to be set in motion. I have plans, but I'm also scared shitless. I want to yell & scream at him to tell him how much I hate what he's putting me through, but honestly, what good will that do? Im glad to meet someone who is going through the same thing (in a way) it makes me feel a little less alone.