Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Still lost

speechless1000
speechless1000

Im 3 mths into a separation my husband has made it very clear he no longer loves me so I have no choice but to comply as I know you cannot make anyone love you. 


Since seperating we did have one marriage guidance session but since we separated he has slept with someone else - someone I thought was my friend - she did my makeup on our wedding day.


To say my heart is broken is an understatement - no he didn't cheat and yes we had filed for divorce but my heart doesn't care about the formalities.  For me the thought of another man touching me makes me cry and I don't understand how he can't feel the same.


I let him believe over the w/e I had a date and he had a complete meltdown which I don't understand.  I'd love to think it's because he still loves me but deep down I know that isn't true - he just doesn't want me to move on like he has.  Either way it doesn't change anything.


I don't know why I'm posting as I'm sure my feelings are mirrored by many of your own.  


I need to be brave now and remind myself that I'm a mother too 2 wonderful children.  I have to pull myself together.  I have to accept that this may not be the life I planned but it can still be a joyful, fulfilling one.  


I hope your Monday is going ok.

cleigh
cleigh
Posting your experiences on this site can be cathartic. You are right, your feelings are mirrored by many here! That's why it is important to share our experiences, so we know that we do deserve better, that what we're feeling is normal, that we are not crazy as some of our ex's would like to make us feel. This site legitimizes the pain, hurt, grief, anger and every emotion in between that we are experiencing.

I fault absolutley naseous when I thought of my ex with his girlfriend. But over time that has waned to the point where I don't care anymore. It has taken time and many positive affirmations that I repeat to myself daily. But you will learn that you have dignity, you are a wonderful person, and his actions are a reflection of himself, NOT you!

Have a better and better week!
speechless1000
speechless1000
Thank you for taking the time to reply. Unfortunately this is going to be my second divorce. I know sadly that it's going to be a long old journey but my first almost destroyed me and now I can honestly say my ex husband is my friend. And who he has in his bed is of no consequence to me anymore. I still wish he'd not broken my heart but I acknowledge he just wasn't up to marriage. I know this pain will fade and that in time I will lie in again and enjoy listening to the radio. Just not yet. Thank you for responding x
Koko
Koko
Good for you to keep on posting. Your feelings are completely appropriate. You loved this man and married him so yes you should feel sad he has moved on. I am separated from my husband as well but I will feel something once I found he has moved on with someone else too.
speechless1000
speechless1000
Thank you koko. I'm sorry you're going through this too.
ripped_my_heartout
ripped_my_heartout
Sorry you are going through all this. The pain is real. I feel it everyday and know too well. My ex had an affair, I found out 12 weeks ago. She had been with 3 guys. Today she is on her 4th. She said she wanted to have fun, now I guess she is. The thought of her with another man drives me nuts. I try to stay busy but hard not to think about it. She moved on along time ago. I'm just trying to now. For some reason I think our ex's just don't want to see us happy. This was a total blindside, I was never planing for something like this. All my plans for the future gone, routines gone, everything gone. I spend many days and nights alone, it's hard. Keep posting...this site has helped me a lot and gives me place to vent. You are not alone, stay strong.
-HUGS-
SBC1238
SBC1238
Your feelings are all to common, and that's what we are here for, to be a soundboard for anything and everything you want to talk about. You said all the right things, you know what your ex's true feelings are and have accepted that. Now the healing begins. The meltdown about your "date" I agree would make me feel good that it affected him that way, but you and I know you can't let that sway your progress whatsoever. Too bad for him - he lost a good thing. XOXO
thiscantbeit
thiscantbeit
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It's terrible. But that's what we are here for. To listen, to vent, to support. We can all relate one way or another. This process is different for everyone. But here we are, doing it together. And although this is a virtual space the things that are shared here are very real. - Hugs!!!