Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
As I have been going through the whole steps of divorce, I have accetped the relationship is over. DONE... No coming back. I have felt all the stages of grief, exept learning to let go. I still care to know how he is doing, even if he is not caring how I am doing. Our converstions are now only about the kids, and no small talk. If ever our convo start to lean that way, it puts me in a bad place mentally. Matter of fact we spoke yesterday strickly about our daughters up coming soccer this weekend, and several times he referred to me as "pokie" witch was his pet name for me. When I ended the convo, he said it was great talking to me. I know that it means very little to him, but sometimes I see glimses of maby him coming out of his mid-life crises, and start to doubt myself all over again. I know I can't change him, and don't want to. But when you have kids together, it is hard to do the no-contact.
milliejay
It is super hard to do the no-contact and letting go won't happen overnight. It takes time - I've read somewhere that there is a year for every so many years we are with the person, I am not sure how much true there is to that . It seems easier for folks that wanted the breakup - for those who had to accept it, it takes time - but it gets better gradually. Hang in there.
brittany8
Thank You... I am trying. But it does weigh me down sometimes.
deleted_user
How long have you been apart? If it's hard hearing his voice, do conversations via text until you have moved on with your life.
brittany8
Well we have been tring to work on things for 3 years. I have given him space to works things out. We spoke everyday, and saw each other just about every day. 2 Months ago, he asked for a divorce, because he doesn't want to hurt me anymore. Plus he has met a "Friend", yet still does not know what he wants. So I have backed off, and have been tring too move on. The no-contact is hard when we are both very involved with our kids. We were together 18 years. Mid-life all the way... Even our therapist told him.
deleted_user
How old are your kids? No contact is impossible with joint custody. I've been able to put up mental barriers up when dealing with her on a semi daily basis. Have you spoken to an attorney? I'm in a similar situation. 37 year old professional executive wife, regressed, dresses like a 17 year old now. Chatting, texting and facetiming like a teenager. Early midlife
brittany8
Our kids range from 26-17. Our 17 year old is the one we have the most contact about. He was 45 when mid-life hit him, and he has been stuck there ever since. He just is so discouraged with his life, that I think to him it is a comfort to have me in his life, even as afriend. I can't just be his friend. So I am moving on, or trying to al least
deleted_user
Have you spoken to an attorney? 3 years is a long time to be separated. Your kids are older and can somewhat understand the circumstances. Motivate and move forward if you so choose
brittany8
We really have nothing between us anymore. We sold our house years ago. So I have spoken to a company that will draw up papers for a non-contested divorce. We both agrred to the terms, so Its just waiting on the judge to make it final. I know it's time.... Im just having a hard time right now.
deleted_user
I know exactly how you feel. Your situation seems to be similar to mine. My husband left after 28 years of marriage and it doesn't act like it bothers him at all. Me, on the other hand, I am having such a hard time letting go. I keep thinking he might decide to come back, but I am not sure I could take him back. I know that sounds really messed up. I am trying hard to just take it day by day and move forward.
brittany8
I guess that's all we can do. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep going.
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