Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It's been over 3 months now since I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. Everyone tells me how bad he was, how sad they saw me. In all truth he wasn't the best guy out there, I was his first relationship...
But since we broke up he has been getting himself into a lot of trouble according to someone else we both knew. I can't believe what things I hear, I feel as though I failed him... Like I'm the one who fucked up, when in all honesty what I did was my best for him and he walked all over it.
He has stopped messaging me, still stalks me on my media sites, still texts mom from time to time, see him around town, hear about him from my brother (my ex is "dating" one of his exs).
I just...can't stop feeling hurt, each day is better, but this pain, thinking I had him all figured out, knew he'd be what I wanted only to see its all wrong...
He poured his drunk feelings to me for about two months, and as I was ready from sober (I don't drink, but sober for me meaning calm and collected) thinking to express mine to him for closure... I get told no, he is done with me. When the day before he said he'd never give up on me.
Knowing that when I'm the mature one trying to bring myself peace and him acting out as long as he is/was has driven me to near insanity... I can't stand not getting my full thoughts out. Even if he did his norm of ignoring me or pushing what I express aside, atleast giving him what I feel needs said is out and I can somewhat breathe better.
Sorry, just felt like I needed to put this somewhere... None of my other places are really for this, also never know if he's watching over or not...
But since we broke up he has been getting himself into a lot of trouble according to someone else we both knew. I can't believe what things I hear, I feel as though I failed him... Like I'm the one who fucked up, when in all honesty what I did was my best for him and he walked all over it.
He has stopped messaging me, still stalks me on my media sites, still texts mom from time to time, see him around town, hear about him from my brother (my ex is "dating" one of his exs).
I just...can't stop feeling hurt, each day is better, but this pain, thinking I had him all figured out, knew he'd be what I wanted only to see its all wrong...
He poured his drunk feelings to me for about two months, and as I was ready from sober (I don't drink, but sober for me meaning calm and collected) thinking to express mine to him for closure... I get told no, he is done with me. When the day before he said he'd never give up on me.
Knowing that when I'm the mature one trying to bring myself peace and him acting out as long as he is/was has driven me to near insanity... I can't stand not getting my full thoughts out. Even if he did his norm of ignoring me or pushing what I express aside, atleast giving him what I feel needs said is out and I can somewhat breathe better.
Sorry, just felt like I needed to put this somewhere... None of my other places are really for this, also never know if he's watching over or not...
Please know that HIS actions are NOT your responsibility. He, and ONLY he, is responsible and accountable for the decisions he made/makes and actions he takes/doesn't take. It has NOTHING to do with you.
When you accept responsibility or blame yourself for something another person does/doesn't do, that's called codependent. You might want to join CODA (codependents anonymous). Also, it would help a lot to see a therapist who specializes in trauma & abuse recovery. (Based on what you said here, he is a textbook abuser.)
You also need to to total No Contact. That means not seeing him in person and blocking him from everything. Social media, texts, email, phone, etc.
And please take very good care of yourself.
~healing hugs~
I thought mine was here too, not sure if she is still or was ever reading in here. A moment or two of uncanny when I thought / think she was / is here.