Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It still hurts so badly. I'm just over it. I want to feel better. I want to stop obsessing and agonizing over him, over what I wish I had done differently, over what the hell happened. I want to to wake up tomorrow and not miss his face, not wish and pray for some miracle that will bring us back together and make us good again.
It's been 2 solid months of No Contact. NOTHING, and the pain just isn't subsiding. If anything, I feel it's still getting worse. Now, I'm looking back with rose colored glasses, not remembering the toxicity of everything. I know I need to find that closure within myself, to forgive myself, and stop blaming myself, but when he just abruptly and nastily blocked me and never has said another word again, I am left feeling so broken. He's the one who HURT me physically. Why can't I wrap my mind around that and STOP blaming myself? Why do I want him back?
I haven't contacted him and he hasn't contacted me. He said he was going to block me and so I blocked him as well. I will NOT be the one to break this time. I always pathetically crawled back to him and begged his forgiveness or apologized for things that I was not alone responsible for. But this is so painful everyday. It's an agonizing pain that I just want to stop. I feel so empty and lost. I have desperate moments when I wish I could drive to his house and just try to have that one last conversation to make things right. But, I won't. He would turn me away, call me a liar, say that because I told people what he did to me, I'm a "shit talker".
I'm still so confused even after all this time. If I could just stop blaming myself, I feel like I could move on. I've read so many articles on self forgiveness, and I just can't seem to get past my own mistakes.
It's been 2 solid months of No Contact. NOTHING, and the pain just isn't subsiding. If anything, I feel it's still getting worse. Now, I'm looking back with rose colored glasses, not remembering the toxicity of everything. I know I need to find that closure within myself, to forgive myself, and stop blaming myself, but when he just abruptly and nastily blocked me and never has said another word again, I am left feeling so broken. He's the one who HURT me physically. Why can't I wrap my mind around that and STOP blaming myself? Why do I want him back?
I haven't contacted him and he hasn't contacted me. He said he was going to block me and so I blocked him as well. I will NOT be the one to break this time. I always pathetically crawled back to him and begged his forgiveness or apologized for things that I was not alone responsible for. But this is so painful everyday. It's an agonizing pain that I just want to stop. I feel so empty and lost. I have desperate moments when I wish I could drive to his house and just try to have that one last conversation to make things right. But, I won't. He would turn me away, call me a liar, say that because I told people what he did to me, I'm a "shit talker".
I'm still so confused even after all this time. If I could just stop blaming myself, I feel like I could move on. I've read so many articles on self forgiveness, and I just can't seem to get past my own mistakes.
You are going through growing pains and the hurt that you feel is just a road full of thorns and you are slowly walking barefoot towards rebirth and recovery.
Some day you will stop hurting. I promise. However, it will only happen if you never go back with this man.
No matter what he said to you, he did not love you. He was using you to get off on your suffering. There is zero love about that.
You love him because he fed you bullshit lines and you heard what you wanted to hear. You love the idea of who he projected to be, but he is an illusion , a fake.
Hang in there, be strong and heal, so you can find true love. When someone loves you, there is none of that feeling of guilt and despair. You are comfortable, safe, respected...
It will happen.
But you can't force yourself to reprogram, your mind will continue to remind you of events, things said, etc. You have to live your life differently in order for things to really change for you. In order for you to see what was really your responsibility and his. In order for you to be kind to yourself, to stop beating yourself up and allow yourself to heal properly.
You are doing good with the no contact. Fighting the routine of running to him and apologizing. Stopping the cycle of the shit you have been dished. And certainly, stopping the cycle of being considered a shit talker by standing by what you know is right for you and what is not.
Only a shit talker will say how bad something or someone is, but do nothing about it. They will stay in the same situation, but keep talking about it or complaining. There needs to be substance behind what you know in order to give yourself a solid ground on which to build. If you go back, you are not walking on your own two feet nor are you going to build any foundation for you to stand on those two feet of yours. But if you continue with the no contact, stand firm in what you know and said, soon, it won't matter what he says and who he says it to, your actions will show exactly what the truth is, and that is not you being a shit talker. Its you, standing up for you, and you going out and getting exactly all that this life has waiting for you.
Stay strong willed, continue to fight the urges, continue to seek support and help to get past this. Continue to be you.
I miss my Ex everyday, in fact it seems I miss her more and more lately. It's hard to erase 16 years of marriage (28 years of history over all) in such a short time. I know this is going to take months, if not years to move on from. I have to stop trying to rush it and just let it happen.
Stay strong OP, we all have to STAY STRONG!
I think you said you have a therapist thats great.
I found with myself it has been a long process,
one That i am still working on and i am one year
Divorced and no contact. So much is in the healthy
Detaching and having healthy and good support
In your life.
I tossed and turned at night for the First six months.
Holidays i need meditation music To get thru them.
Be kind and gentle to yourself
Hugs
Mirandac