Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I posted yesterday about regretting the way I handled the breakup. Clearly the way I handled it helped my ex get over me quicker. Basically, right after I moved out, I initially contacted him crying/pleading for the next 5 days via texts and emails. Idk why...that definitely wasn't something I'd normally do. The next week I left him alone and he was contemplating the breakup, telling me he missed me and debating "Do I want a life with or without you, you now, or you later?" That should be a dead giveaway that he's not a good guy if he thinks I'm available for him to take back whenever he wants.
The next week I had to go back to the apartment and stay with him while I worked. At first he was all over me and said he was so sorry. We slept together and felt the sparks again. Of course, that ended a few days later when I broke down in front of him and kind of pushed him for answers, then he backed off again. I ended up having to quit my job during that week because of all the uncertainty.
I know I can't go back but I keep beating myself up. He just deleted me off skype and is pretty much done with me for good even though he's still processing the breakup. Any chance he'll miss me or still think highly of me after I screwed up so bad?
The next week I had to go back to the apartment and stay with him while I worked. At first he was all over me and said he was so sorry. We slept together and felt the sparks again. Of course, that ended a few days later when I broke down in front of him and kind of pushed him for answers, then he backed off again. I ended up having to quit my job during that week because of all the uncertainty.
I know I can't go back but I keep beating myself up. He just deleted me off skype and is pretty much done with me for good even though he's still processing the breakup. Any chance he'll miss me or still think highly of me after I screwed up so bad?
That's all that really matters. Many do the #crazygirl thing. Shake it off....
It would be like cutting off one of your fingers. Just follow me for a second lol...... Your finger gets cut off. Then you having to accept the loss, learn to cope, and move on with your life with only four fingers on one hand! (weird analogy I know but you get the idea)
Loosing a finger or a boyfriend will hurt at first but eventually you will heal. There is a period of time you think like "why did I have to loose my finger? maybe if I hadn't done __, this wouldn't have happened and i'd still have my finger. I'm so angry I lost my finger".
Evenutally, you would learn how to cope with only four fingers and how to do things you used to do but now with only four fingers.
I think its similar in a breakup. You are feeling a loss and learning to cope with this loss.
Unfortunately, emotions aren't something we can control. So don't beat yourself up over "crazy girl " stuff... your not crazy, your just a normal girl going through a breakup and that sucks and is hard.
Also if its any consolation, I did the same "crazy girl" thing as you in the first 3 weeks after my breakup: texted multiple times every single day, called him, cried to him, promised to change, pleaded with him, begged...and I mean BEGGED. If this makes you feel any better, there was one point I was so upset I literally fell to my knees crying next to his car as he was driving away and begged my ex to give me another chance. It might have looked crazy at the time, but I needed to get that out.
He might change his mind but I can tell you the absolute best thing that you can do to improve your chances of getting back together is the no contact rule. 30 days no contact. It will give you time to heal time for him to miss you and time for you to become the strong person again that you were when you met him.
Check this website : www.exboyfriendrecovery.com
good luck!
It may seem like you won't make it right now, but you will.
Good luck
So it isn't too late for NC to get a reaction from him? I feel like at this point NC will be for life because he'll be relieved to not hear from me :(