Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members
100,360 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

stbx does not respect my boundaries

onedayatatimeforme
onedayatatimeforme

In light on my good day today of course there is something but at least this something my attorney is taking care of .. again. Stbx was told by his attorney a month ago to stop calling me at work and no phone calls just e mail. Well he has been calling me at work again. So I had to speak to my attorney again and inform her he still calls to see if I answer and at times he will ask if I am working today. He called me last week at work and came by the house .. he did not knock on the door but he sent me a text from one of his 3 phoney phone numbers saying he saw me sitting on the couch and I looked depressed. Ok super creepy and he called me at work last night and tonight. So once again my attorney is sending another letter and to warn him if he does not stop we will go to court and get an order and a judge will make him stop. This man can not follow the rules . So I hope by next week the phone calls at work will stop . Stbx has too much time on his hands and he needs a job and to top it off he said his father is not going to help him pay the bills but of course his father is paying stbx bills with a string attached to go back on his medication, yeah that is not going to happen . Any hoo I am lucky that my attorney is taking care of this and I hope to look forward to stbx not calling me at work anymore. He just loves to push buttons . 

joe14291
joe14291
Get a restraining order. they give them out to women like candy nowadays
jojored
jojored
The more he calls you, the more it cost you in legal fees. See if your lawyer can assign some of her fees to him when the time comes for financial settlement. And yeah, two warning letters then go the restraining order route. If he still calls after that or comes unannounced to the house (provided he's not on the mortgage, deed, or lease) call the cops and he'll get arrested. Do this as many times as needed. Yes it would lessen his changes of getting jobs, but that part of his life isn't going so well anyway. It's not like you gave him the shovel to dig his own grave, he's had that shovel for a long time now and seems very proficient at digging.
onedayatatimeforme
onedayatatimeforme
Jpr14291 Thank you for your response but I am not looking for a restraining order and if I were I would not expect it because I am a woman I would expect it because my job pays my bills and is putting my son through college and considering he is not paying my bills I can not afford to loose my job.

jojored that is just what my attorney said, give him chances to change and if he continues then I have to do what is best to support my family and that is to keep my job and to do that stbx has to stop calling my work. He has had his shovel for many years .. you are so right in more ways than one.
Samuel2891
Samuel2891
Why dont yiu just ask him to stob calling your work instead of running to youe attorny to tell him.. you know that going to cost you money anyway that yiu could be using to out your kid threw college like you state you want to. So just ask him to stop in a nice way.. ya they sure do habe restaring orders out like candy
onedayatatimeforme
onedayatatimeforme
Samuel2891 great advise the only problem is not only have I asked in a very nice way several times, I have also sent e mails asking and that seems to enable him. So I can either as you call it run to my attorney to protect my career that I worked and earned even through difficult times that supports my family or hey I can take your advise and keep asking him in a nice way with the words pretty please and then loose my job and not be able to support my family. Now since you think that restraining orders are passed out like candy that tells me that you have had an experience with that and that is sad but not everyone cries wolf , Thanks again for the reply .