Congratulations to you in taking this first step toward independence.

I too am separated from someone who gradually became a control freak (due to addictions in his case). I don't know how long it will take for you to get past the mental conditioning, but you have taken a good first step in going somewhere alone and going no-contact (I assume). It takes time. Each thing you accomplish alone will build your self-esteem. For me, getting used to any major change takes up to 18 months. Allow yourself time to heal, and keep out of contact with your STBX so you don't backslide. Best of luck to you!

Thank you. It's depressing that healing takes so long. I have no choice but to have contact with him. I teach, so my contract doesn't end until the end of May. We are in the same house but different rooms. We have little or no contact with each other daily. We had lived this way pretty much since December, so I have adjusted.

He told me that he just doesn't understand why I have so much animosity towards him. That remark came after the night he called the police on me. I had taken our jet skis and put them in storage because he drained all the joint bank accounts. The police told him they couldn't help him. That is so white trailer trash. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do on my part, but the attorney said I made the right choice.

We are beyond that now though. We are just waiting on attorneys.

Silver lining...I am from another state and so will be moving back during the first week of June. Unless, it's signing papers, I should never have to look at his face again.

I know how it is to be stuck in a roommate situation with a soon to be exI too have been living like this since december. I didn't even realize how much control she had over me, until I realized, this is happening we are divorcing, and a sense of a weight being lifted off of me, came over me. Unfortunately that feeling comes and goes along with all the others, it's especially difficult when you still see them everyday glad you'll be out in june, my situation may take a little longer :( from what I have gathered so far on this site we should take as much time as needed to heal, seems to very from person to person here's hoping ours is as quick as possible

Wow, go team!

I replied but the site errored out from work, happens all the time.

I am experiencing a new found sense of freedom and self-love myself. I realize that I was oppressing myself trying to love her and please her. The relationship itself was actually oppressive/abusive. I was codependent as could be! Now that I moved out, have been working on myself, and have let go... I feel almost the onset of a new identity.

God bless you all, I'm adding you guys as friends.

What a great realization, eh?

and here you go ...

continue to live your life with your own mind and decisions.

be well