Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
As soon as I left Sweden I asked him to send me his birth certificate with the apostille, he said he did but I never got the papers, supposedly he sent them in September. I'm not even sure he did because in the last months he showed he wasn't a man of his word. On the other hand I've recently lost a package twice in the mail, so I dont know anymore.
At first I was waiting until his papers arrived to start everything but felt like I was wasting time. So I contacted a lawyer, explained my situation and sent all the papers I had including his birth certificate but without the apostille (a stamp that serve as proof that the paper is real so it can be used in foreign countries).
It drives me crazy the attitude many mexican people have, if they don't have experience about something, instead of saying so, they try to make you feel like you're stupid, really, like for anything, I even remember one time I went to walmart looking for a bottle of jgermeister and since they didn't know what that was (can you believe it?) they laughed at me, literally, they looked at me, asked "what's that?" in a condescendent tone and laughed, like if I was the stupid one, aggh!!!!
Well, I'm going through the same again, I explained my situation, that he wasn't doing anything to help me and he wouldn't come to the country to sign the papers (because in Mexico you cannot send divorce papers in the mail or anything like that, both people have to stand before the judge and sign the papers there), the lawer said "oh ok, I understand, I will send you the requisites you need" so last night I open the email and the first requisite was "both people have to be present and agree to the divorce" and I am like "ok.... so you didn't listen any word I said"
I'm so frustrated! But I was reading the civi code of my state last night, and it said that being separated for more than a year, no matter the circumstances, is reason enough to be able to divorce without the need to have both people stand before the judge, so maybe I'm gonna find another lawyer and try to figure out if that's possible in my case, since I've been separated since last August, I don't mind to wait another six months if that means it will be over.
Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent ...
At first I was waiting until his papers arrived to start everything but felt like I was wasting time. So I contacted a lawyer, explained my situation and sent all the papers I had including his birth certificate but without the apostille (a stamp that serve as proof that the paper is real so it can be used in foreign countries).
It drives me crazy the attitude many mexican people have, if they don't have experience about something, instead of saying so, they try to make you feel like you're stupid, really, like for anything, I even remember one time I went to walmart looking for a bottle of jgermeister and since they didn't know what that was (can you believe it?) they laughed at me, literally, they looked at me, asked "what's that?" in a condescendent tone and laughed, like if I was the stupid one, aggh!!!!
Well, I'm going through the same again, I explained my situation, that he wasn't doing anything to help me and he wouldn't come to the country to sign the papers (because in Mexico you cannot send divorce papers in the mail or anything like that, both people have to stand before the judge and sign the papers there), the lawer said "oh ok, I understand, I will send you the requisites you need" so last night I open the email and the first requisite was "both people have to be present and agree to the divorce" and I am like "ok.... so you didn't listen any word I said"
I'm so frustrated! But I was reading the civi code of my state last night, and it said that being separated for more than a year, no matter the circumstances, is reason enough to be able to divorce without the need to have both people stand before the judge, so maybe I'm gonna find another lawyer and try to figure out if that's possible in my case, since I've been separated since last August, I don't mind to wait another six months if that means it will be over.
Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent ...
Tammi
I know there's a lot of good people here, and some things I love about my culture, but we seem to be glad to live in ignorance and the legal system is so corrupted I could talk about that forever. I live in a small town that it's in hands of the drug cartels, just last friday they found a human torso in the middle of the town, they left the legs a few meters away, and yet, I'm more afraid of the police and the military, because everyone knows they can rape and kill anyone and there not a single thing you can do about it. Right now there's 2 girls in jail because they dared to speak up because soldiers raped them, so trust me, I do know what I am talking about, and this is not all the world I've known, I've seen bad and good things, but I assure you that if you talk to any woman about how hard is to make your voice heard in this country, they will agree with what I just said, it is hard, and they treat you like you're stupid just to hide they ignorance (and this is specially true about the "authority").
I understand that most people here is from the US and without any context my words can be easily missunderstood, so I'm glad you expressed yourself and so I could explain a little better what I meant, I was quite upset by the whole thing and had been discussing with my family the fact that according to our legal system, if a couple divorce, technically, the man can marry again the very next day, but the woman has to wait at least 300 days before being able to marry again, and that's just an example of how the laws of my country are different for men and for women.
Tammib, I don't wanna be seen as a racist person! My situation is definitely not ideal, but if my biggest problem is that I'm having troubles to divorce, considering where I live, then I can say I'm in heaven, my family is ok, I'm ok so that's all that matters right? ;)
So if 6 months worth of patience on your part can get you the end result you need. The 6 months will be so small in the big scheme of things.
Hang in there sweet friend! You have been put through so much already, you don't deserve any more of this aggravation.