Hello to all my DS friends!!! I've been a member of DS for almost a year and took a little break from all the heartache and pain that we all have been going through. Married 11 yrs this summer my H and I decided to rebuilt after emotional infidelity. After 6 months of trying I finally realized that things are never going to change. He has been emotionally gone for a while and I was the only one holding on to hope that things were going to be good again. We talked divorce before but it only stayed in the talking phase, this time is becoming a reality. I'm going to see the divorce lawyer tomorrow. First time he mentioned divorce it caught me completely of guard and completely devastated my self esteem. This time even though we were trying to rebuilt, the divorce possibility was always rearing its ugly head. This time around I feel more emotionally ready to let go and move on. I have spent months crying and now that we finally decided to end our marriage I cried the first day we discussed it a few days ago but I dont let myself cry and wallow in sadness. If I start crying I probably wont stop, I just got tired of trying, giving everything and not getting anything in return, it was an empty trade. We have 3 children together and I have to keep my life together for me and them. It is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. So far I have been able to hold it together, I'm scared that if I let myself cry and I will completely breakdown. Thanks for your listening ear!!!!