You made it.

He didn't.

:o)

It does me too. I sit here and pack things and look around at my stuff in boxes and her stuff in boxes and know that we will have different addresses in a few days, for the first time in 13 1/2 years and it just makes me sad.

It hurts even worse when I know that she will be with someone else right away.

its been 1 week since my husband left & I have never been so severely depressed in my life. Sometimes I just start to cry it hurts so much. I love him and he loves me but we just can't live together. Its such a shame....

I'm sorry rose, we are all here for you.

when you get to point it's hard to breath, keep breathing anyway, and take it one minute at a time if you must.

yeah it hits me too every now and then, then there are days where he'll flip a little attitude towards me and Ill sigh to myself and thank god I dont have to deal with that shit anymore.

I think divorce makes people have multiple personalities- one minute you are carefree feeling pretty good. The next, you are a basketcase when something good happens to you and you want to share it with your spouse- but you cant cause he really doesnt care or things are just NOT the same. Then, you have this other personality where "yes Im free let me go out and find an awesome lay".

Then, there's a personality thats based on self-pity. "Why me" syndrome.

Whether or not you initiated the divorce or not.

Lots of emotions, and everything come into play.

Yes you are right about the different emotions, and that when he does something nasty I do remember why I could not live with him anymore. I do like those times better because I need a wake up call as to his real personality. That is what I try to remember because I can't stand the other times. I guess in the times I feel like this should have been different I have to focus that it was probably never real because he is two different people.

Been separated for over two years now. Just got divorce a few weeks ago and it will sneak up and bite me in the butt!!! "You are divorced!" it will say to me. Or, the romantized, good times memory. I will say to myself, "WTF?" It is normal. What I have to do next is remind myself of the pain, anger, shame, neglect...... then I get myself righted. Makes me wonder if it will ever go away. Maybe it is good that the scar is still there. Keeps me on my toes when I am thinking how nice it would be to be married again. Look before you leap is the old cliche, I am doing my share of looking now. I just try not to look back. If, I do, I just dont stare :)

I just wanted to add that when he is nice which he can be sometimes that is when I wish he could have just stopped doing what he was doing and choose me. If he had done that it would have been so nice. But that is not real I just did not want to be divorced I did not want to be alone. I wanted us to be together. Well I guess this is one of those days that I wish for the impossible.

I agree totally.

It hits me from time to time, like a ton of bricks.

I am constantly preparing for a standoff with the person who used to be my biggest backup.