Sounds like a very wise move on your part. Thats exactly what Im doing myself after being left by my woman. She crushed my heart too and is already with somebody else (im pretty sure she was already cheating before she left me anyway). My relationship was 8 years, so I can only imagine what you're going through. I know I too have had the the thoughts of finding somebody else. I know that would probably help ease the pain and take my mind off of her. But thats the cheap, easy, unhealthy way to recover. Im glad you see that too. I think only weak-minded people with no self worth need those type of rebound relationships because they are incapable of facing their own feelings and pain, so they mask it rather than deal with it. I think the better things will come to those of us who wait, and get ourselves right first. Besisdes, anybody who would hook up with a person fresh off a break-up from a long term relationship or marriage probably isnt made up of any real substance anyway. And it would fizzle out just as quick as it started anyway.

Thanks! I think he cheated throughout our whole relationship too. He alway had an excuse for not wearing his wedding ring.
What I want is a true relationship, not someone playing me for dumb. I had never doubted him until I found a letter from a woman that he left me for. I never been with another man the whole 23 years I was with him, and I thought we had forever, I got really burned. LOL

Yep, seems like the loyal, faithful ones are the ones that always get burned and left with the despair and turmoil of the aftermath, while the cheaters get everything they want, make out like bandits, and ride off happy into the sunset.

yes loosing a mate is a very hard thing, being a widow myself , i feel how that may feel. . i waited 8 months before i realized that when you love someone thats not there anymore, they never totally go away and if you wait until they are gone then youll always be waiting. so really best find some one to fill that empty part of your heart,, yes i was with my woman for only 14 years but the pain was very intense, so i understand,

True the cheaters sometimes get a head. But what are they really giving ? I did some soul searching and came to the conclusion that I wasn't worthless, that I 'm an individual to be valued. I gave my best and my love, in a 23 year relationship , and I don't regret having those years. What I was most effect by was my husband leaving one day , and never returning. It tore me up to be left in a city alone, no money, in a house that I couldn't pay rent for. Thank God for family.

Seeing a long term relationship come to a end is so hard. I am so glad you are giving yourself time to grieve. You certainly are not worthless. Just because he made an awful choice doesn't mean your value decreased. I'm glad you had family to support you through this. It was family and God that got me through with lots of praying and crying. My only regret is that I didn't give myself enough time to heal before becoming involved with someone again. So take it slow and easy. Find yourself, and find out what you enjoy and do it. Perhaps some counseling (secular or pastor?) to help leave the baggage behind. Someone told me once that when I no longer "needed" a partner I was ready for one! Some wisdom in that.

That is true wisdom. I don't want to need a partner I hope to meet someone that we can enjoy small moments in life together. I'm sure that there is an individual out there who wants a quality, and faithful individual.

I spent many hours in tears and prayer, asking the Lord to bring me a man I could respect and trust and who would respect and trust and love me. It didn't happen overnight, but He did do that, and I have been with my husband now for 40 years. There were some hard spots because of baggage we both brought into the relationship (some left over from #1), but keeping Him in the midst of it worked. I never have had to doubt his loyality or love. I do know if I had tried to do it on my own it would not have worked out this way. I know there is that individual out there who WILL cherish you for who you are. This was very different from my first husband who I never asked the Lord for help in finding --- and I got what I thought I wanted, and it was a disaster! So take your time. If you wouldn't mind, I'll would like to include you in my prayers?