Hello everyone,

I did some searching online and I found this support group. Hopefully I can get some feedback and make some friends because I really need the support.

Here's my story: I'm a guy and I have been in a relationship with my ex for the last 5 years. At first everything was going pretty great, we had good communication, but our relationship lacked intimacy and sex. In fact we did not have sex hardly ever. He's cheated and had sex with other people though but honestly I just don't think he was sexually attracted to me. Even though we had talks about building a life together, having kids etc, I always felt like a big part was missing and felt like since we did not have hardly any intimacy this was a friendship rather than a relationshp. It got to a point where I was breaking up with him once a month because when I thought about our issues, I didn't see them being fixed (and I feel like we tried) and I could not see myself married to someone without intimacy and sex. Who wants that, and yes sex isn't everything. We used to live together but within the past few months I purchased a home (that I was hoping we would buy something together) and I told him that if we were not going to be in a happy, committed realtionship then I don't think we would live together. At first he did not like that and insisted that since the house was large enough we could co-exist, but I said no because the house would represent new beginnings for me and I want to be happy. 

Now that I've moved on I've been going on dates but I miss him like crazy. No one replaces that void that I have for him. He was one of my best friends and now we barely hang out. We spent the last 5 years doing most things together (conversations, movies, travel, holidays, celebrations). Yes, we talk or text just about everyday and have access to each others homes, co-parent pets, but we aren't together. I'm not necessariary saying that I want to get back with him, but I miss my friend terribly. About a month ago he told me about a new guy who he met and I felt terrible and started doubting myself and questioning if I was good enough, so we've been working on boundaries. I'm not ready to see him talk to other people honestly. Some days are good but some days are sad and I think I can be a little depressed. I really miss my friend. I had a conversation yesterday with him and he said that he isn't going anywhere but we don't do anything together anymore. It's a really big change and I feel alone. How do you go from planning to spend your life with someone, and now you barely do anything together? I need all of the advice, encouragement, and hugs that I can get. I'm at a low spot.

-Feeling alone while surrounded by loved ones and friends and pretending that everything is perfect :(