Hi

I joined a few months back and haven't taken much time to get involved. I have been seperated from my second marriage for 7 months now. During the first seperation and on through the divorce I drank pretty heavily and smoked. I loved the way the alcohol dulled the pain but it felt so much worse the next day. The hurt the emptiness the loneliness was amplified. I did meet my second wife in a bar and we did have a blast partying right into the marriage but all of that avoiding the truth hit me hard when the drinking stopped for good. I fell into a deep depression and became agrofobic. I even had to quit my job and thought i was disabled. My new wife was actually very supportive and helpful. I was over my first wife but never finished the healing. I finally pulled myself together after six months and have done very well for many years considering. Now im at the same point with no new wife or gf. Just me. I moved 8 hours away and left behind grandkids and all. I'm really fearing it will come back but this time I did it sober. Faced every accusation. Made every attempt to change. Found my spiritual strength. 

I am so much happier and stronger at an earlier point of divorce. I feel bad for my soon to be ex and have been able to understand how I failed her so I can change for the next. 

I may have been just ready to change in life but even as hard as it was to stay sober and face every emotion it was much easier than having to face it later. I am now at the 5th stage and see daylight. I'm finally crying out of happiness but i have to give that credit to the lord. Please please please don't any of you give up. I'm still lonely and scared to be alone but I've come a long way in a short time by facing it.