Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
After nearly 25 years of marriage, I find out my wife is having a recent affair with someone half her age. I also find out that she has been seeing other men for at least the last 8 years.
I admit the last 8 years have not been great in our marriage. I tried, and I held out hope...but to find out I never knew what kind of person she is...what can I even think any more. To know that there have been so many. That it was "only sex"...how do you even react to that. How can I even trust anyone anymore?
Yes, we are getting divorced. Yes, we are still in the same house (separate rooms). I still support her/have been supporting her. My mind is blown. My heart is crushed. I never could have imagined this.
Right now, I'm just venting. Keeping it bottled up. I think I should see a counselor just to talk, but not in my nature to do this. Wondering if anyone has gone through this. Any advice.?
I admit the last 8 years have not been great in our marriage. I tried, and I held out hope...but to find out I never knew what kind of person she is...what can I even think any more. To know that there have been so many. That it was "only sex"...how do you even react to that. How can I even trust anyone anymore?
Yes, we are getting divorced. Yes, we are still in the same house (separate rooms). I still support her/have been supporting her. My mind is blown. My heart is crushed. I never could have imagined this.
Right now, I'm just venting. Keeping it bottled up. I think I should see a counselor just to talk, but not in my nature to do this. Wondering if anyone has gone through this. Any advice.?
Some things that have helped me are to journal. Every day, my journal was a written out prayer to God to help me with anger, hurt, betrayal, wanting revenge, whatever I was feeling that day. Also helpful was finding DivorceCare. It's a Christ-based support group for people going through divorce.
This forum has also been so helpful in letting me vent, and assuring me what I'm feeling is normal. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
i hurt for a long time, it helped me to not have a timeline to get better,
as #2 says, it was very helpful for me to talk to a few people rather than keep it all bottled up inside
offer them counseling, if any don't want, don't force it, let them know it is an option
do not hide the truth from them, life is about dealing with reality (truth)
and making choices (truth) that does not need to be hidden
you are raising kids to be adults
We are all in this together. Keep venting. I also find that if I try to help someone else it helps me too. Keep your head up and put a big smile on your face no matter how much it hurts. Im trying to focus on improving myself after being a punching bag for my ex all of those years.
Im not a perfect person either. We are only human and as such our faults are innate.
Remember to breathe. Breathing is your oldest friend. Get outside and bond with nature . . . There is a spectacular world out there.
I dont think my pain will ever go away completely. There is loneliness, shame. But I will not take it lying down; Im in fight mode to survive and find happiness again. Please keep posting.
This forum has been so helpful for me. Knowing there are others out there that understand goes a long way. I know how bad it hurts, how broken you feel. Counseling is a great start but I also find forcing myself to get out of the house, making lists of projects I can do, keeping busy but also allowing myself a good cry helps. Everyone here is here for you. So sorry you are suffering. Stay strong.