Sorry you are feeling mad. I find it helpful to just stop And take several deep breaths. Being angry only makes you feel bad.
Try to be the best you can and know that is all you can do.

Keep in mind that cheaters do this to rationalize their behavior. If they can say, "See what a mean, critical bitch/bastard he/she is. I was right to cheat."

Resisting responding is the right approach. Remember, emails and texts can be used in court so you are wise to keep things neutral. a wise person on DS once told me, "If you don't play the game, the game is over.". Responding would just escalate the problem. You may also consider minimizing your communication. Sometimes cheaters want to draw you in so they can push your buttons. Keep in mind that not every email needs an immediate response or any response at all.

Sending hugs.

Stay strong!!! Sorry to hear things have been difficult.

sorry sending thoughts. maybe limit contact as much as you can and only about major things. That's what I have to do when angry.

I completely agree with HurtinandHealin. I believe they do bait us into arguments, so we turn into the worst versions of ourselves to justify their behavior.
Boy, do I ever know where you are coming from! I had gotten to the point where my anger was no longer controllable. I yelled and said the worst things I could think of just in effort to hurt him as much as I could. Only, it wasn't really hurting him at all. I was just turning into this bitter hateful person that made him feel like he did the right thing all along. I didn't want that and that is not the type of person I wanted to be. I decided to make a change for me. It's a long story, but the bottom line is that I decided to accept that my marriage was over and that no amount of anger or guilt I tried to inflict was going to put it back on track. He was never going to wake up to the pain he's caused and want to make it right. I'm not going to pretend acceptance it's easy, it's not. It takes a lot of effort to mentally get through the pain, but once I accepted, it has seemed to ease a bit.

The next time you feel like you are going to blow, keep this in mind. When I had a long talk with my ex about how I was going to make a true effort to stop fighting, he said to me "In all honesty, you being so angry and mean was making it a lot easier for me to move on." I doubt you want to make things easier for your ex. I know I sure don't. I want him to see me happy and loving to other people. I want him to eventually in the future to feel, even just a sliver, like maybe he made a mistake. I don't want things to be easy for him. I want them to be easy for me.

Best of luck to you

Yes, Emotionalcutter, I am at that, "I want you to hurt like you've hurt me" stage for sure. I have been taking the highroad when it comes to dealing with my ex, always pleasant, no arguments, but this weekend seems like I've reached the limits of nicety. I've thought of telling him off face to face, but I think he would somehow find away to turn it on me again. He is a narcissist for sure.

Emotionalcutter was spot on! I could have said the exact same thing. It is a form of gaslighting and manipulative people can get away with doing this very well! You end up questioning every little thing you said or did because they cause you to become so confused. It gets so exhausting to live that way after awhile.

You need to stay strong in this although anger is a real feeling and can be helpful at times. Easier said than done but I know how you feel. My stbx was the one who cheated and she wants the separation that we are now embarking on starting tomorrow. We never really argued in our marriage and we still havent really argued. I had the same experience regarding emails. I would write emails letting her know how I felt and how this separation would work. She also would misinterpret, read too much into them and turn them around. I would have to explain myself during our therapy sessions to get clarity. I would try to craft emails in such a way that there could be no way of being misinterpreted but that was so time consuming. I ended up just stopping sending emails and texts unless it was absolutely necessary. I think that the misinterpretation is just another tool that she uses to justify her actions and make it that this is all my fault. Our therapist encourages us over and over again to use I language. This was mainly because my stbx cannot express herself or her feelings leaving me to guessthats a whole other story. I language is simple and formatted. I am feeling X and I would like you to Y. There is no guarantee that other person will do what is being requested, but at least the feeling is out there and the other person knows what is being requested. For example, I am feeling confused and what would help me is if you could explain what you meant by or I am feeling sad and I could use a hug. This can work in emails as well.

Good point whatthe321. I should start asking him to explain what he means instead of responding.

I call it the blame game. Noone wants to take fault so they go back and finger pointing until you are both exhausted and wondering "what is the point in communicating with you at all". Even if someone says "I feel that your cheating caused the demise of our marriage" it wont make the other guy pony up and say "you are absolutely correct my love"....so it feels much better just to point the finger and release the kraken so to speak lol because that is how you truly feel.