Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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So very sad

Coldfusion
Coldfusion

I was going to write my story but wow...I can't do so without first saying my heart goes out to folks here in this room. I've known this pain before and I'm about to know it again, so I can relate.


We would have been married 31 years on Christmas Eve of this year, but we're not going to make it.


The past has been rocky. I have left several times, my story is that I couldn't stand the belittlement that was dished out on a regular basis; hers would be different, of course. The last time I was gone from 2011-2019. I lived in the same city, came over to the house on a regular basis to take care of odd jobs. Still, it allowed me to live with my grandmother and to be her caregiver until she died at the age of 98.


My 2 jobs have been the only source of income and we had purchased a home in 2002. I never took money out of the bank, lived on a meager budget, allowed my wife complete control of the finances (she's good at it...) so that her and our daughter, who lived with us until she was 28 (she did get her Master's, so it was with a purpose she stayed so long) would never, never, have to worry about money or shelter or medical treatment. Blah. Blah. Blah.


When I HAD to return home, the greeting was lukewarm. My own bedroom, etc. COVID restrictions made it worse; since I worked outside the home I obtained leper-like status, taking my meals alone in my room.


Well, on her birthday this year, things finally went bang. I had put up with months of be degraded and yelled at; I would wince when she would call or text, because I expected the worst and was seldom disappointed.


I have been expelled from the home and won't be going back. I suppose I tried too hard to build something which shouldn't have been built. I don't regret my daughter, though she sides with her mom and I have little hope of a relationship with her either.


The financial bloodletting I can handle. She won't get it all and I live a simple and uncomplicated life. But I feel like a real failure, and I want to trust God, but my thoughts are so scattered.


Thanks for hearing me out.


Bobby5000
Bobby5000
Why is this sad, no small children, you and your wife apparently don't get along and it going to end.
Orchid2020
Orchid2020
I hope you're OK. I can't quite relate to your story but I understand your pain. Today would have been my Mom's 79th birthday. She's been dead 25 years yet I I can't let it go. I'm the youngest of six kids and I can't let it go. I spent the day alone and sad and my Dad kinda doesn't care although he has dementia at 81 years old but he did not care too much before he lost his mind and my five siblings don't care. He worked two jobs like you so I can relate to that. I cannot even speak about my abusive husband who is not in my life but I'll still have to deal with. Have a Good Night, Prayers to you
for Real.
Coldfusion
Coldfusion
Thank yo both . The sad part is I poured my finances into what I imagined would be a comfortable future,

While the future is always uncertain, I acutely feel the death of my plans and dreams.
Orchid2020
Orchid2020
I guess you sounded like my soon to be ex husband. He broke 8-9 cell phones, 5 0r 6 computers before he touched me. But he did eventually so that was a trigger but be OK.
Coldfusion
Coldfusion
In 30 years, a lot of bad stuff did happen, and it takes 2 to tango, as they say. But it wasn't all bad, right? Because I did stay for 30 years.

But it's time to move on, I suppose, unless God has other ideas. Too many bad things, not enough good things, and there you go.
catch_the_music
catch_the_music
Sorry for what you are going through. Sounds like you have lived separately for quite some time - and faced conflict and other challenges when you lived at home. Have you talked with a Pastor or counselor about this? You need someone to pray over your marriage and give you some good advice on how to turn things around - if that seems possible. Prayers for you! God Bless!