Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It seems like everytime I get my ex to agree to terms of the divorce we go one step forward and 20 back. He left two weeks ago, he asked for the divorce. I was left crushed and trying to explain to our two kids why their dad just up and walked away. I actually felt bad for him (ha ha shame on me) I wasnt gonna rape him on child support like most women would have. I even said he could have the kids as often as he wanted if I didnt already have plans. I would get to stay in the house we lived in together before the split. However, tonight he threatened me saying that since his parents own the house that he would kick me out of the house if he wanted too.
I really am confused, he is basically threatening to kick me and the kids out of the home we have lived in for years. I know I cant find a decent place on my income and the small amount he is willing to pay in child support a month. Do I bite my tongue and stay leaving the threat of eviction hanging over the kids and my heads? Or do I quit playing nice and tell the court I want the full amount of child support based off his income and any second job he gets?
I dont want to be the spitful bitch he seems to want me to turn into here but I dont like thinking he is threatening the wellbeing of my kids home. They have been through so much already because of his actions, and some I try to hide from them. But if I am forced to leave my home I would be forced to move to another town and switch the kids schools. I don't want that since my son graduates in just over a year. Ugh I'm really torn.
I am still living with my husband so yeah I can relate to the stress!!!
If he is already being demanding this is going to be difficult for you. You have to keep your children in your thoughts when getting what is needed from your future ex. Find a Divorce Care group at one of your local churches. I found that the most helpful of all when I attended their sessions. Have you talked to an atty. yet? You need to get online and look up the divorce laws for your state. That will tell you a lot and do that before you consult an atty.
For the parenting plan - have a plan and stick to it. When things calm down then you can do extra here or there, but make a plan and stick to it initially. Of course you will let him have the kids whenever, but if you're not talking to each other, how can you say "well you didn't take the kids" when you don't even have a solid plan in place? Plan for worst case scenario and hope for the best, which may not happen for months or years once you guys are past this hurt a bit better. It sounds to me he's angry right now and wants to hurt you like he may feel you are hurting him, who knows & it's no excuse. But just think legally and not emotionally with this separation/divorce paperwork.
Good luck. Oh, and talk to his parents about what they feel comfortable doing, since it is their home.