Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members

100,360 Posts

1 Online

ishy 08/06/2018

my ex found a new woman only THREE MONTHS after I said I could not continue being his fiancé. Just had gotten out of a marriage of 17 years and he proposed, I said yes, but guess I wasn’t thinking about it logically. It was too sudden, way too soon. I wasn’t ready to move my kids into his home without helping them adjust without being with their father and healing myself from an abusive marriage. Sooooooo, what did my ex do? He made me look like the bad one who broke off the engagement. Said I was making a huge mistake, and he found a new woman only after three months. This new woman is ready to be a step mom to his son and give him the baby he always wanted. But please help me everyone......why do I obsess 24/7 over him and picture him with his new woman? I even brought up to him the possibility of us sleeping together since we still love each other even though he “moved on.” Gosh am I pathetic????

11Christmases 08/06/2018

You have been through a lot, and perhaps a therapist could help you sort out all the "why". It sounds like you just want to be loved...that's what we all want, right?

In the meantime, you know what you need to do...for starters block him from your phone, social media and email. There is a lot of good advice here and all over the internet for getting over a breakup.

Yard_Eggs 08/06/2018

Are you sure you are in love? Or are you scared of being on your own?

Leaving a 17 year marriage and heading right into the arms of another man, accepting a premature and ill-thoughtful proposal and now obsessing over the man who dumped you (and ran straight into the arms of another woman) seems to suggest that.

ishy 08/06/2018

I appreciate all of your comments! My ex has moved into a new home this weekend with his new girlfriend and just texted me to let me know. He said he is still so insanely angry I "betrayed him by not accepting his proposal." He said that I'll never understand the damage by him buying a $25K ring, took me to Europe, and treated my kids like his own. Why is he pushing guilt on me when he has quickly replaced me only after 3 months?

trisha9054 08/06/2018

Ignore him. He is just being mean and trying to let you know what he thinks you are missing. Do not answer him. He is trying to put a guilt trip on you. Like a little boy who is saying see I didn't need you; I found someone else to stay with me.

43andhurting 08/06/2018

Miss. Ishy, i so know this feeling. i am going through the same thing. Married 20 years and all i get is the guilt trip. I am so sorry you are going through this. I just saw your post and it sounded like it was similar to mine a little..

Osheana 08/07/2018

I agree with writingfor joy and all the other comments above-all are true,
just take the time needed to heal yourself thoroughly.

Nicholas1993 08/07/2018

Ishy, block him and go no contact. It will be hard in the beginning but each day it will get easier. You'll heal.

There maybe things you want to say. Maybe you feel closure...but is any answer going to be good enough? He's immature and, like writingforjoy said is this who you want. He tears you down because you let him. If he loved you, he would have waited. It was all about him.

Trust me go no-contact. If you have to write him, write an email to yourself (Even create an account for it). Every urge just write it to that account.

You have a lot to give someone. Focus on you for a while.

Snipsnipe 08/09/2018

you were right not to rush your kids, they have turmoil as it now,
any adult that can't see that or doesn't care is a jerkoff
count your blessings you aren't with him

harrisbaby 08/09/2018

I understand about obsessing over someone who is not really good for us! I say give yourself love and care and find some good people to be with. It helps. I'm alone and soon to be single again so I know how hard and scary it is. Feeling are just feelings, try not to judge them. Take care, love and prayers to you and I'm here if you want to talk.

Alone 08/10/2018

Thanks for sharing. Sounds like he’s the one with the problem, not you.

Join the Conversation