Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am just so sick and tired of this BS sadness. Its been over a year, and last week, I had a MAJOR relapse.
I think what bothers me the most is his attitude towards me. He acts like we didnt spend the last ten yrs together and had a family and a home. Like he doesnt know me at all. AND, if I say anything to him about how I am feeling now, he doesnt respond. Or just says, why are you doing this? WHY AM I DOING THIS? Because this was our life together and you act like it was nothing!
That angers me so much. What else angers me is that Im feeling this way at all!!!! HE IS NO GOOD FOR ME! I KNOW THIS! HE DOES NOT TREAT HER ANY DIFFERENT THAN HE TREATED ME!
Yes, I left him. Yes, I know why and I know they are valid reasons.
So, why am I beating myself up for it now?
I think what bothers me the most is his attitude towards me. He acts like we didnt spend the last ten yrs together and had a family and a home. Like he doesnt know me at all. AND, if I say anything to him about how I am feeling now, he doesnt respond. Or just says, why are you doing this? WHY AM I DOING THIS? Because this was our life together and you act like it was nothing!
That angers me so much. What else angers me is that Im feeling this way at all!!!! HE IS NO GOOD FOR ME! I KNOW THIS! HE DOES NOT TREAT HER ANY DIFFERENT THAN HE TREATED ME!
Yes, I left him. Yes, I know why and I know they are valid reasons.
So, why am I beating myself up for it now?
I am a beautiful person inside and out. He is not! And Im NOT just saying that. He is rude, and crude and his social skills are pretty much non-existance...This is NO lie.
My point???
HE DOESNT DESERVE ME!
(Im working on my self esteem here!)
He is socially challenged and you are a social butterfly.. You could not explore that while you were with him, but now he is gone..
He is crude and rude.. Speaks volumes about control... You are not like that.. Now you have an opportunity to find someone that is gentle and kind.. because he is gone.......
Start being good to yourself... You are worth it...the best revenge is to take care of yourself and live well.. (((((diemjs))))
by the way , you are beautiful outside too, I saw the pictures.. *smiles*
I know it is so hard I am just out of a 6 year relationship. I have to make myself put a smile on for my son. I try to go for walks, I come on DS, spend time with friends, clean out the closet I have meaning to do etc. Try to keep yourself busy. My ex treated me poorly. I broke it off with him and I still am sick to my stomach everyday. I am trying so hard to make my self do things. I read this on line I keep on writing it and saying it to myself. It has helped me. There is no judgement. So PLEASE do not judge yourself for allowing yourself to be treated far less than you deserve. The only thing that matters is what you do from this moment foward. LOVE YOURSELF....ALOT GOOD LUCK
FEEL BETTER
We have to have low's to appreciate the highs ~
((hugs))
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I think you're still grieving what could have been. Know in your heart that it never was going to be and you made the right choices for you and your kids. You'll get through this :)
Truth is, when I read your post and replies, I cried. Not because of the relapse, it just hit a little too close to home.
I've learned that memory can be your best friend but depending on a situation, it will become your worst enemy. Why do we look at what should have been? Why do we wonder why some can turn off their feelings and we can't? Questions on top of qustions with even less answers. My experience is that a person is always going to be what they are no matter how much we strive not to be the same way. However, the person who spends more time being an insensitive individual towards the other has no true idea about being human. I'm glad that you feel the way that you do. It shows me (and I'm sure others) that you are a person who can feel and no one can ever take that away. Try not to look at how you're feeling as a weakness. Look at it as immense strength.
I don't know you or your ex so I can't come right out and take a side but I can relate to the feelings you expressed and they're unique. I once told my ex that I wanted to be able to meet someone who at one time or another was looking up at the same moon on the same night that I was. It's impossible to find that out but the thought alone comforted me. The reason behind me sharing that wasn't to score points in this group, it was feeling. We can get that quick fix by allowing our thoughts to betray us or we can overcome and persevere.
The person I was with couldn't comprehend why it bothered me so much when she acted like we never had anything together. But I stopped thinking about it because she may be happy now but everything that a person does to someone out of spite and hate, has a way of being revealed to them. Not karma but understanding. They may learn how they've been by facing a situation or they may gain clarity, who knows. I know, I've been rambling bt remember this... In the movie, 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" Johnny Depp was asked about what he wanted. His reply, "I want to be a good person." Be that person. No matter what, be that person.