Well, I doubt he's changed since he's cheated on you, unless he's faced and exorcised some personal demons of his own. I would think he's going to repeat his pattern. If anything, I would consider that this poor girl is going to go through the same thing that you are already way ahead of the game in recovering from. Sorry, that's all I've got today. Hugs to you. This will pass. xoxo

you are much better with out him and you know it, he isnt worth it!
what you are experiencing is narcissistic injury of having been rejected, and that is a very normal feeling..we all go through that.
you think he is really happy? think twice! cheaters cant be (or make anyone) happy...they just go from one relationship to another trying to quench their insaciable thirst for attention as they, deep down, feel so incompetent and insecure.
rise up, get up and keep walking...as far away from him...you dont need it! even if your mind is tricking you...

you are not seeing the reality of what is really going on and who you two really are.

the reality is that men have to grow up. and, part of that growing up process is facing the reality that women are not sex objects and they are not mothers. a man has to get to a point where he sees women as individuals. as people with gifts and talents and beauty. then, he has to show them respect and dignity.

a man who screws a bunch of women is operating on a very low level of existence. a man who jumps from bed to bed is to be pitied for his self delusion. pitied for his fear of growing up.

you ex is miserable deep down inside. he may never face the tears that must pour forth.

on the other hand, you are alone and lonely. but, your dignity and virtue are intact. being alone is far better than being with someone who is bad for you. being alone never lasts forever. in time, your new life with a good social component will happen and your next chapter just may be the best one yet.

your ex did not win by mistreating you. he lost a piece of himself.

Try mindfulness... it means not resisting the thoughts, allowing them to come into your mind, but just try to acknowlege them, without reacting, or responding. You will feel pain, but the aim is to avoid the higher suffering that comes from reacting to those horrible thoughts, and in time they will not be so painful any more. This might help get through the worst of knowing he has moved on. He sounds like a very selfish and cowardly person, and you are better off without him. I know the memories are hard to lose, but just realise this is time in your life when you just need to look after yourself and get through the pain. One day it will be better and you will be ready to move on.

isnt it ironic how the ones that do us wrong always end up ina better place then us? but think of it this way; his happiness will only be temprary just wait until karma comes back around to bite him. is he cheated on you then he will do it to the next. he will one day realize how good he had it with you and will wish he would have treated you right. sending blessings your way

I am going thru the same thing. Just found out ex is dating someone else only weeks after talking about us talking about spending our lives together. how men move on so fast baffles me. I have lost 15 lbs been depressed and have been sleeping a lot and feeling terribly sad. I know a lot of this is a deep feeling of rejection because if he did come back I am pretty sure I would not take him back. I am now on 8 days no contact and the emotions are up and down. hang in there! You are not alone!!

I'm so sorry that you feeling this way, I know that it's hard. I too doubt that he's changed that much since he was cheating on you, it's only a matter of time before he cheats on her too.

You are going to be sooo much better off. You will be fine. It's just hard to see the masks that he's wearing of happiness. Everything has to look good to everyone else don't you know...

Thank you all so much for all your thoughts and words you are so right I know this. I have to just get past this the best way I can and really remember all that you said because your right. It really just sucks that the ones who hurt us move on so easily, but I did hear all you said and it makes me feel good I am not alone. thank you all for being there for me. I don't know it just all sucks

You can't get rid of the past, but you can use it to your benefit.
You can grow as a result of the past.
This may not give you much comfort,until you stop and really think about it.
I hope you will.
Lynn

You are definitely not alone. I am divorced and my ex is not seeing someone else. He left me and immediately moved in with her. Now he is marrying her. THAT is painful. Yes it is amazing how they can be with you for so many years and move on like nothing happened and so easily while we are torn inside. However he is selfish and emotionless and I am waiting for that KARMA everybody talks about. We just have to believe that when we are over this pain their's will surely begin.

I second rbsingle....waiting for that Karma- in ANY way, shape, or form. I hope by the time I'm done grieving, the karma will hit him and I wont care anymore....but I still want it to hit him!

I hope you are feeling better and some of the words people wrote to you helped you, I read through them all because my now ex boyfriend(1 1/2 yrs) and I had a little fight and the next day(yesterday) I call his phone to hear another girl answer it, so this morning i get a text that says this is whats best for me he won't hurt me anymore, which is true but yet I hurt so bad and can't quit crying,

Ashtre02 I am sorry you have to go through this I am so sure that when you heard her voice it must have felt so bad. I do know it hurts so bad for so many reasons.
I do know what everyone is saying is true and I just need to find a way to move past this and move on. I really did believe in Karma, but I seem to be getting all the bad karma while he has all good. Well maybe not all good who knows, but he is happy and I am not so there is that. He just does not care by his cheating and lying that he destroyed a family and just moved on.
I want him to be unhappy and feel that he lost the best thing he had with me and the kids. I don't think he ever will that is not who he is. He feels he is always the victim.

Ladies - I hear you about wanting Karma to kick in, but their lives are not any happier because these guys are not happy with themselves deep down. Unless they have gone for intensive therapy, they will revert back to the old habits once the newness wears off, and be right back where they started. Unhappy with nastiness, lying and cheating on the person who's closest to them. Count your blessings, that your not it anymore.

God has given you the gift of betrayal and it's your choice what to do with this new found freedom. Become the best and happiest YOU you can be without giving them another thought!

The world is your oyster - go and enjoy it and enjoy yourselves. I know that I'm pretty good company to myself. Hell it's a good start!

this filling will pass.i know that doesent help right now. its tike being in the desert with no water and being thirsty but someone is on there way with water in 2 days. you know the water is coming but that doesent stop your thirst. guess what i am saying is hold on till the water gets there