Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
we were separating. The first week everything was a novelty...being the only adult in the house, taking out the trash and doing the dishes (his two chores), cleaning and moving furniture around. I found free. Now, the vulnerability is seeping in a little. I was very lonely and alone in the marriage, and now I'm lonely and alone outside of it. There's a part of me that wants to jump onto an online dating site and start looking for some company pronto. (I've been with my husband for twenty years.) But, I know it's too soon and I don't want to throw myself into something and ignore my kids. When do you know it's time to go out on a date? take off your ring?
I know feeling sadness and grieving are inevitable, but I feel like I did a lot of that marriage. Am I wrong to think I should not look for anything for at least six months?
As for that ring, why are you still wearing it!!! I stopped wearing mine years ago. I have big plans for hocking it and planning a vacation next year to Hawaii with my boys!! It's cursed, so I wouldn't want to give it to my sons!
Thru all the grief and divorce. The recomendation is to wait a
year Minimum. I am still not there at A year and am no way
ready. I have gone no contact too.
Its all one big process that takes time, the healing started
after the divorce and decree. I like your hawaii plan JOJO.
HUGS
I was lonely and figured why not, he seemed like a decent guy.
Suffice it to say, I was not prepared lol. The level of bullshit that's out there is astounding.
I am now on my own. Focusing on me and putting a happy life together for myself. Maybe down the road I'll meet someone. But right now I'm happy having peace and sanity in my life.
Everyones different, but my advice to you is make sure you're on solid ground emotionally before you even think about it, and be careful for the obvious and not so obvious reasons.
There are a LOT of wounded, damaged people walking around looking for someone to hook up with thinking it will fix their life.
"There are a LOT of wounded, damaged people walking around looking for someone to hook up with thinking it will fix their life."
Taking my ring off was a HUGE deal for me. I am a Christian. Love God. Thought my marriage was forever and ever and TRUSTED that. Nope. Anyways, my dad was the reason I found courage to take my ring off. My dad is a terrific soldier for Christ and my dad told me: " Suzy, you out of all people I know do not deserve to have to beg someone to love you. G signed on to love you forever and he is deserting that. So F Him! Take your ring off."
It was so powerful. My father never swears....for him to say SHUCKS is a big deal. So for him to be so upset to say a F word was huge. And his love was so meaningful. And the fact that he spoke so truthfully to me. So my ring came off that day, July 5th. But he told me he was separating from me on MARCH 12th.
About dating......I feel the same way.....the pull....the longing....the yearning for someone to actually LOVE ME and give a crap about me is so HUGE. It starts to look like a GOOD choice. You could have a partner again. Hooray! SOmeone who is happy to have me around! Imagine! : ( And someone to help with bills......but no....it is not right at this time.
OUr kids have to be the focus. They do.
There is just no getting around it.
They matter so much.
My kids are 5 and 11 and I want to go date too. Want to feel acknowledged and cute and like I matter....want to be generous to someone and pick up their special favorite thing at the supermarket.....but none of that matters......the emotional needs of a child SKY ROCKET in times of separation and divorce. So my prayer and CHEER is for you and me to just go forward with smiles and confidence with our kids.
I send you love.
xoxoxoxox
Suzy
They cause more trouble in the long run.
Go to a therapist so you can have Some
professional support and direction.
My ex cheated and checked out too so i
Get you. Focus on you and Your children.
HUGS
When I got divorced I jumped right on Match because Icouldn't wait to have a "real" relationship and yes have someone care about me again. Literally the first 3 guys I met wanted to immediately hook up (and lied as they were all married, come to find out). One even had pictures out there-how does that happen, married??? well it did...be careful...take your time and definitely avoid getting involved because I can tell you from experience, my marriage was over 5 years before we actually got divorced, so I had grieved while married too and thought I was so prepared and ready... but I wasn't. I was not completely healed and was still vulnerable-you just don't realize it at the time....